Videotaping Bi-Polar Speaker

Published March 26, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Thursday night I videotaped a female Bipolar survivor speaking on her experience with the disorder, for public access. It was a NAMI presentation, at the public library, and I heard again good things about the new treatment aid for Borderline Personality, PTSD, Bi-Polar Disorder, Depression, and stressed folks without a disorder. Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT) was developed after my stint in graduate school and in fact after I retired! Curious, I finally purchased a second-hand copy in excellent condition via Amazon, and for ten dollars have the skilled workbook for my own use. (Total bill was $10-something). Now I know what everybody has been talking about! Instead of my measly list of suggestions for self-soothing in my blog last Monday, I have at my fingertips a list of more than 100 self-soothers! There are only two I would take umbrage with: 1. watch television [not today!] 2. Call a family member you haven’t spoken to in a long time [not if you’e a survivor of incest].

Anyway, now I know what it’s all about and I’m starting my first lesson!

BTW, it’s called The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook, by McKay, Wood, and Brantley, 2007.

Another Beginning

Published March 26, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Sorry, I didn’t mean to mislead you with hopes for a rosy post. I’m just “cleaning out” my papers again and came across the following which is the beginning of a story I never finished, from 1-4-98, titled “Something About Ida.”

At 62, Ida was an imposing old girl, having inherited her large frame from her mother’s father and her seeming aloofness from her father. Not a very nice person, but she meant to be. She was an enigma to herself, and others often dismissed her as being too complex and self-centered.

A woman of many talents, she has come to believe if not totally accept that in some aspects she is irrevocably stunted. As she sees it, her task is to live a life of integrity, while allowing for her very real ~~and intransigent~~ shortcomings.

At times she wonders if her view of her shortcomings is a cop out. Is her perception of her developmental hang-ups pathological or not? She grasps for an analogy when reflecting on this. Like a man carving himself out of a block of wood: is he a block of wood with delusions of grandeur or a creative spirit working to free himself from his unconscious?

What About Us? Abuse Histories in the Making

Published March 25, 2017 by Nan Mykel

I belong to a talkative brown bag lunch group, and last week someone started talking about child sexual abuse, whereupon another put her hands over her ears so as not to hear. When I wrote my book on incest, the first assistant I hired refused to read it. It’s okay to have strong negative feelings about the topic, but what about the children who are continuing to experience incest, for example, living their own abuse histories even as I write this blog and you read it? We don’t have to read lurid, painful histories, but how about educating ourselves so as to better protect our own children and others’?

Transgender etc…I Wonder

Published March 25, 2017 by Nan Mykel

I was just reading a recent article in Time magazine about the floating gender folks, and wonder how many of them were incest survivors…or just survivors of child sexual abuse. I’ve been trying to see if I can think of myself as non-binary and maybe I could if it weren’t for the genitals. But the young children who are coming out non-binary. How is their choice connected to their genitals? How do they know about choice re the genitals if they’re not even that knowledgeable about where babies come from? If they’re educated in that area I wonder if they should be.

Today I’m Feeling…

Published March 25, 2017 by Nan Mykel

I’m still a newbie but I’d to see if I can do something interesting on my blog. I know that images speak louder than words, and I’m wondering if anyone–on Saturdays–(today)– would be good enough to post a photo on my site, I guess under COMMENT, that pictures how you’re feeling right now, along with the word for the feeling. I’ll start in the morning. I’ll experiment and see if I can move your response to a better viewing space. Nan (I’m feeling shy and hopeful right now).

SATURDAY 3/25/17 — Nan

MOLDY

See the seventh light face from the left, third from the bottom? I’m feeling moldy, crowded, pressured, stuck and sorry for myself.

What the Red Head Said?

Published March 25, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Or were those his exact words?

MY MIRROR IS A LIAR

Published March 23, 2017 by Nan Mykel

For d’Verse–tho when I looked earlier I saw no Mar 23 listed as Open Link.

MY MIRROR iS A LIAR

It is my fifth birthday and

I am in pigtails, swinging

on the garage door,

wondering if I will still

be me

when I am grown.

Seventy-five years later,

I am.

Nostalgic for a place where my pain belonged

Published March 23, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Thanks for sharing such an important part of you. I could not have made it through graduate school without a strong strong outpatient therapy group. I’m reblogging this gem.

blackspotsite

In the past few weeks, I’ve felt like each time the spring sunshine warmed me, it also drenched me in nostalgia. Fewer words more aptly describe a feeling than this one. Nostalgia is about more than recollection; it is about the bittersweet nature of specific memories.

I’m nerdy about language, so out of curiosity I looked up the etymology of this word. It’s roots are in the Greek ‘nostos’, meaning ‘to return home’ and ‘algos’, meaning ‘pain’. It evolved into a term for homesickness. I guess that still holds true today, because it tends to relate to a longing for something it isn’t possible to have. Whether that’s re-experiencing a moment of happiness or returning to a far away place we still love.

I found some resonance in the roots of this word today. That’s because what I am nostalgic about right now was a time both of intense pain…

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How to show support to a child loss survivor

Published March 23, 2017 by Nan Mykel

So clear and well-written! It should be helpful to many. And you show much compassion for others.

SURVIVOR SURVIVAL MANUAL

Published March 22, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Back when I as reading up the library I stumbled across some good ideas for psychic emergencies. The writers I read recommended developing a list of things to do in order to self soothe, the calming process that babies learn and as adults we sometimes forget. A partial list of self-soothers might include:

Get out your copy of The Courage to Heal and re-read it.

Call a friend, whose number is _______________.

If he or she isn’t home, call another number, which is _____________.

Have the number of the local crisis line or suicide hot line written down along with your other sources of support______________.

Breathe deeply.

Center yourself.

Take a warm bath or hot shower.

Cuddle your cat.

Journal and/or blog.

Go to the library.

Listen to your favorite music.

Make your bed (just joking!)