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All posts for the month June, 2017

Dialogue: Poet to Poet

Published June 30, 2017 by Nan Mykel

“I guess I have been holding back some of my resentment. I’m in a  nice normal poetry group on the outside and they love to laugh at my funny lines. This isn’t a therapy group–far from it. It’s a nice civilized friendly group, and I sure can’t let the cat (me) out of the bag there.”  The above was posted on June 25, 2017 under Could I Re-Write My Childhood?

The above is kinda setting the stage for the following dialogue. Because P1 and P2 is boring, I’m calling the participants Me and You. but don’t take it personally.  Remember, “You” equals P2.

Me: I’m puzzled and frustrated by poetry sharing in my blog family.

You: You only post on your own blog and d’verse.

Me:  Yeah, and I’m puzzled by that.  I didn’t understand, and I recall giving advice on grieving, not realizing it was probably  just a poem, not reality.

You:  You were just a newbie, you didn’t know any better.

Me: I don’t have that excuse any more.  I think it’s wonderful how most people praise each other’s efforts/poetry on d’verse.

You: Me too!

Me: But I have two general questions. Sometimes we  respond to content (“I’ve had that experience too, in Florida…); sometimes we respond to the poetry form and metaphors; and sometimes we respond to the emotions which we resonate to. I guess the foregoing is not a question, just an insecurity about which is preferred.

You: So you do want to do the right, preferred thing?

Me: Well…yeah…I guess.

You: Okay, what is your next question or insecurity?

Me: Is the purpose of d’verse to make readers  happy?  I’m not saying it right–moved, enlightened, thankful, appreciative of life?

You: Sounds like a worthy purpose to me. I don’t like whining posts.

Me: Me neither,  but when I attempt to write poetry I’m starting to feel a “should,” like I should write for its impact on readers, like I should brighten their day instead of “let the cat out of the bag,” that I’m feeling hurt, pain, jealous, vengeful, despair, unloved, rejected, cynical, bruised, hopeless, etc.  (Not that I feel like that often, mind you).

You: d’verse isn’t a place for therapy, you know. There’s a  survivor’s blog somewhere out there for survivors,

Me: But not a poetry blog for survivors.  I guess I’m unclear about the difference between whiners and grieving and non-believers and reality.

You:  If you’re not feeling love and thankfulness and joy,  you don’t have to write a poem, you know.

Me: I’m already feeling misunderstood. I think I’ve been guilty of “arguing back” with some poets myself, instead of just accepting their words.  And I do remember that the best gift you can give is to hear and accept.   I remember Carl Rogers now and how precious it is to just be really heard.

You: You do realize that now you’ve made anyone who comments on your work self-conscious?

Me:  Oh, I’m sorry!

You: I should think so!

LESSON FOR TODAY:  People are just people and really accepting them means just letting them do their thing and follow their creative impulses.  So there’s no other message from this  navel-gazing post.

Juneteenth  — BookingAnita

Published June 30, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Good Morning! Happy Morning! I know I’m a little late on this, but I’m still going to post my thoughts on Juneteenth. If you’ve never heard of Juneteenth prepare to be “schooled.” Juneteenth is the oldest known celebration commemorating the ending of slavery in the United States. On June 19, 1865 Union soldiers led […]

via Juneteenth  — BookingAnita

Inherit their voice reblog

Published June 30, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Yes, yes, yes!

TheFeatheredSleep

2012610_1809dSat facing away from the sun

an old man wipes years from his eyes

drawn over with cataract like milky bath water

he strains to see the outline of motion

where are all the old men? He thinks

once so barrel chested and neatly trimmed

with mustaches and shiny hair like Cover Girl teens

where are all the eighties queers who painted beaches

with tight abs and tiny shorts in tropical shades?

now half empty, the beach longs for color

only rotund women with bristly chins

unkempt hair chopped without thought

some with children or children’s children

placing sensible shades and thick UV factor 50

on slow-moving parts of themselves

in previous years you could

reach out and paint a rainbow

in their courage of being twenty

though lesbians and gay men do not

always a palate make

such contrasts in their expression

these women without restraint

mopping the brows…

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How Big Monies Is Strong Arming Recalcitrant Republicans Who Oppose Trumpcare

Published June 28, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Speechless. Too bad I don’t believe in hell.

Gronda Morin

Image result for images of senator dean hellerThe big monied backed Pro-Trump PACs went into action with negative TV Ads to pressure the republican Senator from Neveda, Dean Heller as soon as he announced on 6/23/17, that he could not back the Senate’s version of Trumpcare.

This is a perfect case study in how the billionaire folks like the Koch brothers, the Mercers and others exert undue influence over the republican legislators to where they are put at risk if they put the well being and needs of their constituents first before their’s.

Image result for photos of america first policies Trump Advisers Start ‘America First Policies’ Nonprofit

As per the 6/24/17 Washington Post article by David Weigle, “(Senator Dean) Heller, the only Senate Republican facing a 2018 reelection bid in a state won by Hillary Clinton last year, announced on Friday (6/23/17) that he could not back a bill “that takes away insurance from tens of millions of Americans and hundreds of thousands of…

View original post 599 more words

Bless? For d’Verse

Published June 27, 2017 by Nan Mykel

If I say bless you, who am I to possess blessings to bestow?

Am I asking God to bless you?  A bit presumptious!

If I  shout Bless You when you sneeze, that’s knee jerky.

I know, I know I’m being difficult.  But a black widow spider?

Bless his little heart? Don’t know if spiders have hearts,

or if he’s a she.  Does Bless you suggest forgiveness? Even

more than that, I think.  Love? Surely if I bless a tic

I’m not really loving it. Accepting it as a sibling life form,

maybe.  Empathy. I can buy that, for we’re all riding

this rocky boat together.

 

Could I Re-Write My Childhood?

Published June 25, 2017 by Nan Mykel

I guess I have been holding back some of my resentment. I’m in a  nice normal poetry group on the outside and they love to laugh at my funny lines. This isn’t a therapy group–far from it. It’s a nice civilized friendly group, and I sure can’t let the cat (me) out of the bag there.

On my WordPress blog, I hold back a little. Although an incest survivor, I’m a clinical psychologist and have had oodles of good therapy, and I guess I don’t want other survivors to think I’m typical of an almost “cured” survivor. After all the work and insight and research I’ve been through, if I’m still messed up what does that say to  other survivors who maybe haven’t even begun therapy? I don’t want to turn out to be the rotten tomato others strive for.  I certainly should model a healthy adjustment, at 81!  If I let the cat out of the bag that maybe victims won’t ever be completely “cured,” might that not discourage them?  I’ve done enough harm in my life to not want to be responsible for discouraging others.  And it’s true I do hate complaining blogs.  Hand-wringing doesn’t do it for me.  I’m not aware of many alternatives at the present moment.

It does seem unfortunate that it doesn’t occur to abused and neglected children that there’s something wrong with their parents, not them.  But the books tell us that children have to  believe in their parents, because their very lives depend on their care.  I’m having a fantasy now of  something as popular as the Bobbsey Twins series, in which young readers are taught to observe and diagnose their parents’ behavior.  I even thought about trying to re-write some scenes from my childhood, such as when I was sent home from school sick and my mother angrily told me not to bother her.  A that point I didn’t expect anything else, but I can pretend now her being concerned and feeling my forehead and asking how I felt, etc.

The hell of it is that even if we don’t sexually or physically or verbally abuse our  own children, there is something intangible missing in our own parenting. If we didn’t experience it we don’t have it.  So there, I’VE SHOT MY WAD FOR TONIGHT. And now I realize I should have written “I” instead of “we”  in those last  sentences.

How Is It That Words Can Comfort?

Published June 25, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Most times words miss their mark.

They rain down in torrents, oblivious

to us and us to them,   not even in

our existential language.  We feel

bruised  by them, misused,  overcome

as though embattled.  How, then,is

it even possible that at times they

wrap us so lovingly in tender being-

ness? Respectfully intermingling

heartbeats, glorious validation?

Validation, I think that’s the clue.

We’re less isolated and alone when

reached by words that vibrate and

resonate  with our  core, be it rotten

or despairing, fragile or caring.  Push

on through the brambles of the

irrelevant and when you find your-

self embraced, hold on tight!

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