Night fell early that day, the roiling black clouds a vengeful slow-moving spider stalking across the city on stilts of lightning. Amber grabbed at the railing along the few steps leading up to Mandala House just as an ear-splitting crackle of a lightning bolt wrent
the skies and made contact with the railing, throwing Amber down the steps.

She did not hear the thunder as it continued across the city, nor the wail of the siren as
it arrived and then departed, hastening her to the hospital, where staff awaited her. She
was still unconscious when the doctors examined her, knowing that each lightning case is
unique. Time being of the essence, they wheeled her unconscious form into a pre-surgery
alcove. The prep completed, they readied for action.

Amber turns her head and stares at the ceiling several inches above her face, thoughts cloudy and no sensation in her body. Suddenly a buzzer sounds and the king’s men show
increased activity. “We’re losing her, step back.” One reaches for the paddles and then
Amber is no longer on the ceiling, but headed for the light. It is a slow process, being
moved along the tunnel, like birth in reverse. Her life has a bookend now: Finis. She can see
it as a whole: the good and the bad, as her journey slows even more, like a train pulling
into a station. Hands reach out for her, pulling her closer. She is crowning gloriously,
filled with warmth and indescribable tenderness. Her beloved grandmother is there,
reaching out to embrace her when an imperious voice resonates and suddenly everything
stops. “Halt!” An imperious voice resonates: “You must come back. It is not your time yet!”

“No!” Even as Amber struggles to be released, she is pulled backwards away from the light,
then much faster, and suddenly she shoots out onto the cold metal of the operating table and
inio her body again. The king’s men are happy. She is not.

_________

Does anyone recall Let’s Pretend, the regular radio show on Saturday mornings? I do and it was a highlight of my week. So, I’ve decided to escape to Pretend Land, via fiction.

My heart stopped in more ways than one when suddenly I could no longer hear the overhead fan. My son was holding my hand–or I, his–and I sensed rushing fluid in my veins, as though I was urinating inside myself. I had formerly wondered what dying was like, so I opened myself to experiencing the process, hoping to pair words with it when…when what?

My former ears were silent, but I sensed echos–of what? What was going on? I am picking up speed… How long have I been traveling, inside? Briefly I feel like I am in an MMPI…no, make that an MRI, followed by a real loss of consciousness. I blanked out what I now presume to have been Judgment Day, and now only sense…or hear …or experience…the sound of a baby bawling…

Reincarnation! How interesting! I do recall learning that my un-announced return was to be in the person of my own great-grandson, whose name is Marvin. Image–person–what does it matter what I’m called, but I also sense that my new monicker will be Marvin, for some reason. Does mind over matter matter? I never thought so. I always believed that fairy tale religion was not for me, but what now is the alternative?

Some kind of make-believe is clearly preferable to current reality without Fact Check. I am being drawn to an Alternate Reality–not by books but by experienced reality and my heart. Perhaps mind over matter does matter, at least on this planet where so many are selling their souls to the Devil…[a metaphor or cliche?] … We’re paying Peter to peeter, throwing each other under the bus, denying truth while lying, and making a mockery of motherhood. And selling our the planet for even more filthy lucre.

As my journey continues I try to focus on what lessons I have to learn during my reincarnational journey. I wish I had studied the protocol for this extension of my life i.e., having a chance to straighten myself out and hopefully me as Marvin, too. Well, the easiest lesson I could learn and share with Marvin is to keep my promises. They are much easier to make than keep.

Rearing children is a biggie. I was damaged by my parents but don’t want to point fingers–behavior goes back and back through generations. Truth often lives in the shadows and rarely fully emerges. The parenting–his and mine—-is sobering. His bawling alerts me to the passage of time. How weird this all is. How I wish I could remember being judged at the heavenly gates, if that’s what happened. It doesn’t seem like being an agnostic slowed down anything.

As I’m being gentled through time I imagine being interviewed by a female Times reporter:

“Are you male or female?”

“Oh, er, the real me or the transistioned me?”

“So there;s a difference?”

“I don’t know, lady, I’ve never done this before.” (But I guess I had.)

“You sound kinda like a man.”

“Yeah, I do, don’t I”

“So where are you now?”

“I’m not sure but I think I just died and am being reincarnated–in a man’s body, maybe in the body of my great grandson.”

“Hmm…Guess you’re not copyrighted?” Now curious, I tried to look her over, but no luck. She just looked a-quiver.

Hmn. I quivered. What would I experience if I looked in a mirror myself? I didn’t try.

_____________________________________

I’m against murder, but the story in the ny times yesterday brought a laugh:

Breaking news: Tennessee calls off execution after staff can’t find prisoner’s vein

MAYBE…

I cannot watch starving dogs on tv nor bomb hits on small unsuspecting boats, nor the NEWS, which covers a lot. A chicken, I settle for No Kings demonstrations and sooth myself with memories…LIKE…Dagwood and Blondie; Mr. Dithers; Stella Dallas; Little Orphan Annie; The Shadow Knows; Lets Pretend; My Gal Sunday; Arthur Godfrey; The Lone Ranger; Dick Tracy; Kookla Fran and Ollie; Mr. Rogers; Captain Kangaroo; Daddy Warbucks; Young Doctor Malone; Tonto; Little Lulu; Peanuts; Mickey Mouse; Howdy Doody; Pollyanna; Don the Duck….

EXCEPTION: I took the advice of Keith’s musings of an old fart to read President Clinton;s speech on Concerns Over Defense. Please go to Keith’s site for directions (I keep getting lost). Highly recommended!

It’s true I had my 90th birthday, but…lost touch with the newfangled way this thing works. More to come, hopefully.

Oh poo. I thought folks would welcome a little escape from reality, but since Ben didn’t give the answers to me, I’ll do a quick guess and move on.: So as not to repeat myself and use up AI’s valuable time, I’ll just list my guesses here, and ignore formal titles.

1. Oh come, all ye faithful
2. Angels we have heard on high
3. Silent Night
4. Joy to the World
5. Deck the Halls
6. Hark the Herald Angels Sing
7. It came upon the midnight clear
8. The first noel
9. Oh little town of Bethlehem
10. Little drummer boy
11. God rest you merry gentlemen
12. Silent Night
13. Frosty the Snowman
14. Here comes Santa Claus
15. White Christmas
16. I hear the bells of Christmas Day
17. Away in a manger
18. We three kings of orient are
19. Jingle Bells
20. Away in a manger
21. Go tell it on the mountain
22. We wish you a Merry Christmas and a happy new year

________________

POEMETTE

SO MUCH TO LEARN
And to unlearn too.
Whatever at 90
can an old person do??
I wasted one life
and never was me.
A race against time
is waitimg for me.

.

1. Go tell it on the mountain
2. We wish you a merry christmas and a happy new year

If anyone catchess me in an error, or an additional answer, let me know, and Merry Christmas to you!

I was still trying to thin out my fat files while feeling chastened by another of my errors on Gutenberg last week. (In responding to a comment, I didn’t know who the “author” referred to was, since all of us were authors–all three of us for that matter (authors)….Dr. John Persico Jr, Ned Hamson, and moi.___ At any rate, today’s column has but one major entry, a puzzle, and the answers will be shared tomorrow or the next day. I discovered it in my old files from years ago by another prison staff member, Ben Braden of the Education Department, at Hocking Correctional Facility in Nelsonville, Ohio, now deceased. CONFESSION:: BEN DID NOT GIVE ME THE ANSWERS SO WE BOTH NEED TO GUESS…

1. Move hitherward the entire assembly of those who are loyal in their beliefs________________________
   
2. Listen, the celestial messengers produce harmonious sounds_______________________________________
   
3. Nocturnal timespan of unbroken quietness__________________________________________________________

4. An emotion excited by the acquisition of expectation of good given to the terrestrial sphere_______

5. Embellish the interior passageways__________________________________________________________________

6. Exalted celestial beings to whom harkened___________________________________________________________

7. Twelve o’clock on a clement night witnessed its arrival_______________________________________________

8. The Christmas preceding all others_____________________________________________________________________

9. Small municipality in Judea southeast of Jerusalem______________________________________________________

10. Diminutive masculine master of skin covered percussionistic cylinders__________________________________

11. Omnipotent supreme being who elicits respite to ecstatic distinguished males________________________

12. Tranquility upon the terrestrial sphere____________________________________________________________________

13. Obese personification fabricated of compressed mounds of minute crystal.____________________________

14. Expectation of arrival of populated area by mythical masculine perennial gift giver____________

15. Natal celebration devoid of color________________________________________________________________

16. In awe of nocturnal timespan characterized by religiosity________________________________________

17. Geographic state of fantasy during season of mother nature’s dormancy__________________

18. The first person nominative plural of a triumvirate of far eastern heads of state._______________

19. Tintinnabulation of vacillating pendulums in inverted metallic, resonant cups.________________

20. In a different location the existence of an improvised unit of newborn children’s slumber furniture____________________________________________________________________________________________

21. Proceed forth declaring upon a specific geological alpine formation_________________________

22. Jovial yuletide desired for the second person singular of plural by us________________________

Answers surely before Christmas

_____________

BURMA SHAVE

Did your toes ever ache
With a-wanting to kick
But no one’s there but you?

NH