I would like everyone to be safe, but sometimes survivors who have been abused need to be especially cautious, because of a tendency to expect abuse and not watch out for it. This may be especially true for incest survivors.
Right now, look around yourself and check that you are physically, emotionally, and interpersonally safe. If you are not safe, problem-solve. Where does the danger lie and what can you do about it? Then do it. Remember, denial is the bugaboo. Safety concerns might include birth control, protection from STDS, abuse of substances, illegal activities such as shoplifting and DUI’s, an unsafe living arrangement, acquaintances that have a toxic effect on you, impulsive behaviors–yours and theirs–frequenting unsafe places, etc.
Many survivors find themselves in unsafe relationships which they do not see as abusive because of their past. Ask yourself if you are being respected, listened to, and free of physical and emotional abuse. (Emotional abuse includes being called abusive names). All of us incest survivors were trapped in the abuse earlier, for which we were not responsible. We are responsible now if we allow ourselves to be further abused in any way.
Jim, have you spent much time with newborn babies? It sounds like you inner child is that beautiful, perfect baby. Certainly that still exists in you, for you to assign an alter to wet nurse, to hug and cradle you.My therapist once reminded me that I have good protoplasm. The essential you is pure and originally open and trusting. I for one never believed in original sin. I’m re-blogging. Many thanks for your insights and sharings.
One of my pages (listed on my main page) is Serendipity and Sychronicity. I’ve described two instances in my life and plan to add more. But I hope you’ll feel free to add your own personal examples. (Page contains a long Wikipedia explanation of the two). You can post what you have to say as a Comment and I’ll add it to the S & S page, if WordPress allows me.
On a path two
human animal and
Is one food
for the other?
Who will move
first, and where?
Whose fear is
that in the air?
Reason has instnct
by the throat, or
Is it the other way around?
Tethered by memories
of other meetings on
other paths, the two
step cautiously by.
The original heading for this post was going to be “Plateau,” but then I saw that first line of my last “poem” and think it’s better. This entry will touch upon several topics, so either bear with me or go away.
PROFILE : My current (former?) profile says I’m not through growing yet. I’ve re-thought that.
When after an uncomfortable (well, some of it) thousand-mile trip you finally arrive at the end of the line only to realize your ticket was for the wrong destination, what then? Is it your imagination that someone whispers “Gotcha!”?
Despite what the scientists predict, my first organ to go was my heart. It turned to stone. My last surgeon said, showing my daughter my extracted mitral valve, it was hard as a pebble from a brook. On to another, more current metaphor for me, while awaiting compost:
I am lying on a vast bed of empty ice maker cubes (remember, from the old refrigerators?) Trying to be helpful, I’m sure, someone puts such a tremendous pressure on me (steamroller?) that my body is now comprised of hundreds of cubes, almost like building blocks. Now I’m really ready to compost.
BUT WAIT JUST A F***ing MINUTE! Building blocks! Like in days of yore, before my post-partum deression at 81! Whee!
BLOG ABOUT DISSOCIATIVE IDENTITY DISORDER
….So the choice is, accept help that is not going to work, or try it yourself.
Neither of this is really working. I have not a myself that is able to live on its own. It’s confusing life, based on mental health problems.
It is not, never your fault. Not your diagnoses’ fault. Having mental health problems is as if you are trapped in a deep well. Somewhere deep down you ask, you cry for help. You hope, someone up there would hear it. Down there you try to survive on your own. You try to see in the dark. You think about escaping the the deep well. You can even count the way up. You can calculate the time necessary to get out. But you do not have the rope, the ladder to get out. You would be able to climb all the way up, if they just let the ladder down….
So the key word is hope. Hope, that your life will ever change.
Because, every one with a mental health problem wants to get out. Nobody with mental health problems ever asked for this. But so often you are treated as if you decided one boring day to start a mental health problem….