SAFETY FOR US SURVIVORS

I would like everyone to be safe, but sometimes survivors who have been abused need to be especially cautious, because of a tendency to expect abuse and not watch out for it.  This may be especially true for incest survivors.

Right now, look around yourself and check that you are physically, emotionally, and interpersonally safe.  If you are not safe, problem-solve.  Where does the danger lie and what can you do about it?  Then do it. Remember, denial is the bugaboo.  Safety concerns might include birth control, protection from STDS, abuse of substances, illegal activities such as shoplifting and DUI’s, an unsafe living arrangement, acquaintances that have a toxic effect on you,  impulsive behaviors–yours and theirs–frequenting unsafe places, etc.

Many survivors find themselves in unsafe relationships which they do not see as abusive because of their past. Ask yourself if you  are being respected, listened to, and free of physical and emotional abuse. (Emotional abuse includes being called abusive names).  All of us incest survivors were trapped in the abuse earlier, for which we were not responsible. We are responsible now if we allow ourselves to be further abused in any way.

 

About Nan Mykel

I used to think I would be a child prodigy, but then I got old. Formerly I had fantasies of rubbing elbows with cultural and academic leaders but that did not come to pass because I did not become a cultural or academic leader or any other kind of leader, for that matter. I am not even an "Alpha Dog," a term learned from a friend who had to become "Alpha Dog" in order to influence her own pet. (When gazes lock, she never looks away.) For years I expected to become a published author, but in passing I could not avoid the fact that I had little to contribute to the world's bulging dumpsters. I'm embarrassed to report that I also considered my primary process artistic productions powerful, rather than mildly neurotic. Which is not to say that I disrespect myself, only that I am beginning to doubt my potential for making a mark on the world. If I focus on strict self discipline I may be able to keep my garbage removed on a weekly basis, to keep the kitty box changed, the clothes cleaned, the dog watered, fed and walked, but that just catches me up to the starting mark again. When writing I physically grapple with words, wrestling them from their indifference into attempted chunks of awareness. I sit heavily on my chair; I breathe in artificially cooled air; my ear drums note the tap tap of the keyboard and the steady uninterrupted sound of the air conditioner, What is that sound? The roar of the ocean from 30 yards away...Inside, my thoughts are are balls in an electronic game machine, bouncing hither and yon from lever to lever. I am a little grim and intent until I recall a dream related by a black man in the prison where I once worked. He said that when he was a small boy, back home, he dreamed he was standing on his front porch pissing, and that he suddenly found himself pissing stars...
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