Dream On

Published February 10, 2016 by Nan Mykel

criticaldispatches.com

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Obviously, perhaps, this is a kind of tag-along page. I did want to tell you, however, that my most favorite book on dreams is one on content analysis of dreams:  The Individual and His Dreams, by Calvin Hall and Vernon Nordby, c.1972. I do wish they’d bring out a newer edition because the type is so small, but I was able to get 3 copies from Amazon. The appeal of this book is that the authors have studied  over 50,000 dreams and analyzed them for content. “To analyze means  to break down a verbal report into its constituent elements and count the number of times that each element occurs.”  (For instance, success and failure, good fortune and misfortune,  aggressive vs. friendly interactons between the sexes,  animals,  the sex of stranger dream figures, body parts, the importance of  dream series and much much more, thus enabling one to compare his/her own dreams with a sampling of the population of dreamers.)

imagesDreamone

How to Remember Your Dreams

  1. Accept and value each dream, no matter how foolish or fragmentary it may seem.
  2. Before retiring, plan to remember whatever dreams come to you,. Place a pad and pencil within easy reach of your sleeping spot.
  3. If you have trouble recalling  your dreams, plan a time when you can spontaneouslyawaken and be unhurried.
  4. When you waken, lie still and allow the dream images to flow back into your mind. If no images come, free associate or allow image to come. Be aware of thoughts upon awakening.
  5. When dream recall is complete in one body position, move gently into other sleeping positions to see if that triggers additional recxall. Record your dreams immediately6, whenever they come to you.
  6. Regardless of the method used to collect your dreams–by writing or taping–make the first record with your  eyes closed.
  7. Make your records in the order that you recall your dreams. Exception: Make note of unique verbal  expressions, poems, names, unusual phrases first, regardless of order,
  8. Select titles for your dream stores to help recall them later and toidentify their unique aspects.
  9. Share your dreams with a friend or others.
  10. Reading earlier dreams you have recorded is another excellent dream stimulator.  (Adapted from Patricia Garfield’s Creative Dreaming.

Possible Functions of Dreams

  1. Wish fulfillment (dreaming of food when you’re on a diet).
  2. Subliminal message (finding missing wallet under car seat when was in a hurry).
  3. Portrayal of inner conflict (Can’t unlock door to girlfriend’s house)
  4. Anniversary reminder (dream of a death a year later)
  5. Prospective (likely results of proceeding on path of action)-Probable future results
  6. Picture-Thinking (ideas, problem-solving in symbolic form)
  7. Traumatic replay of horrific events-not yet fully understood
  8. Compensatory (what is needed for wholeness; another side of personality)
  9. Reflects ego state (roof falling in)
  10. Making dreamer aware of emotions not fully experienced
  11. Vehicle for unexplainable phenomenon

  Henri BergsonPart One

According to Henri Bergson, “Stored memories aspire to the light, but do not even try to rise to it…they know that I, as a living and acting being, have something else to do…but suppose that I am asleep. Then these memories…have raised the trap door which has kept them beneath the floor of consciousness, arise from the depths; they rise, they move, they perform in the night of unconsciousness a great danse macabre. They rush together to the door which has been left ajar.”

                                              ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^ ^

 criticaldispatches.com

DOROTHY IN BLOGLAND

Published February 7, 2016 by Nan Mykel

For Open Link night at http://dversepoets.com/2016/02/18/open-link-night-166/

AliceDOROTHY IN BLOGLAND?

No no, Newbie!

                 It’s ALICE.

ALICE IN BLOGLAND!  

Oh, write. But does

Alice have a

wizard?  Well

no, but there’s a

Cheshire Cat.

<floridaborne> has a

cat. What else?

Alice has a Jabberwok.

Well, <dVersepoets> and

<Katiemiafrederick>

seem to have one,

two.

Does Alice have a

narcissist? Why would 

anyone want one

of those?

<Notesfromanarcissist> to himself

has 51,626 followers at

his blog. Or do you

think he’s just

bragging?

 But Alice has

millions of followers,

in books.

 Well, my name isn’t

 Dorothy OR Alice,

but i THINK i have

21 FOLLOWERS!

nanmykel.com

jabberwok

WHO HE? Short Story

Published February 6, 2016 by Nan Mykel

When Trish entered the Front Room, Cassie was already in the booth, waiting. Both smiled broadly, glad to see each other after being separated on this, their first day of classes as freshmen roommates. Being from the same small town in Ohio, they felt a special kind of comaraderie—or safety—in the others’ company. Both had been assigned to classes taught by Professor Johnson, who was listed as teaching both English Literature and Journalism. With Johnson being such a common name, they had wondered if they were going to have the same professor, but Cassie hadn’t thought there was much in common between the two academic subjects, and decided that they would be experiencing two entirely different professors.
The Journalism 101 class was already full by the time Trish tried to register for it. Cassie had already enrolled several minutes before the cut-off, and was feeling fortunate until she realized Journalism was at 8 a.m. Today they grabbed a late lunch from the cafeteria line and got down to it. “Well?” Cassie asked, “are they the same? How old was your professor?”
Trish frowned and rubbed her brow, thinking. “It’s hard to say….35? 45? Maybe 50.”
Cassie sighed as though in disbelief. “Surely there’s a difference between a 50-year old man and one 35! In what way did he seem young and what made him seem old?”
“His dress, for one thing. He wore blue jeans and a collarless shirt, and loafers.”
Cassie paused to drink her tea, and then nodded. “So did mine. Maybe there’s a kind of dress code the first day, to make the students feel more comfortable.…..”What about his hair? Did he still have it?”
Trish seemed to smile inwardly. “Does he ever! He has a full head of gorgeous dark hair with just a touch of silver in it when up close.”
Cassie stirred her tea and asked, “You were up close to him?”
Another secret smile. “Just when he walked back and forth among the students, and stopped to make a point.”
“His voice–was it easy to hear him?”
“Oh yes! He would expound in a loud voice when he strode back and forth in front of the class, often looking fervently at the ceiling like he was communing with God, or trying to. He really gets excited about the early civilizations, and knows Greek. Now that I think of it, maybe he was trying to communicate with the whole bunch of Greek gods.”
Cassie laughed. “Sounds like a winner…How do you know he ‘knows Greek’?”
“He told us, and said a few words in what I guessed was Greek.”
“So it sounds like your Dr. Johnson is an enthusiastic hippie type. He must love his subject.”
Trish nodded vehemently. “‘you got it. Maybe that’s what makes him seem 35.” She paused, playing with her spoon and fork before asking, “So what’s your Dr. Johnson like?”
Cassie closed her eyes in order to re-vision her journalism professor. ”He’s got all his hair all right, but I didn’t notice any silver streaks. And he seems to blow hot and cold. One minute he is trying to get the class enthusiastic about journalism and the next he moans about the loss of the “milk of human kindness,” and about how journalism is being straight-jacketed by the corporations. He kind of slumps in his chair while listening to the students, then jumps up and begins pacing back and forth. By the way, mine is about six-foot tall. How about yours?”
Trish said “He’s tall, too.”
“Well, is he good-looking?”
Cassie shrugged. “Yeah, if you like men who work out a lot. His muscles seem weird on a college professor.”
“Any tattoos?…Sorry, just joking. What color are his eyes?”
“Oh yes, I fogot. When he gets these ideas that make him stand up straight and begin to walk back and forth he opens his eyes real wide and you can see the whites of his eyes. Kinda spooky. And he has very dark eyes that scan the class a lot, as though he’s counting the students or looking for one who didn’t show.” Cassie smiled at her own words.
“Does he have a cough?”
“A cough?” Cassie puzzled.
“Yeah, my Johnson does. Like he smoked.”
“I didn’t notice. There was too much discussion going on in class.”
Trish perked up, curious. “Like what?”
“Oh, you know; liberal stuff.” Cassie paused. “I think we have to face it; they must be different Johnsons.”
Trish nodded skeptically. “Yeah, but how strange the university has two African American professors with the same name!”

 

Eisley Quote

Published February 3, 2016 by Nan Mykel

black_background_with_stars_557408Altho the subject matter may be sobering, the writing is so beautiful that I love it, from The Invisible Pyramid: 

“Beginning on some winter night the snow will fall steadily for a thousand years and hush in its falling the spore cities whose seed has flown. The delicate traceries of the frost will slowly dim the glass in observatories and all will be as it had been before the virus wakened. The long trail of Halley’s comet, once more returning will pass like a ghostly matchflame over the unwatched grave of the cities. This has always been their end, whether in the snow or in the sand.”

Dialoging with Myself: Blogs

Published February 1, 2016 by Nan Mykel

thoughtful

Why Blog?
Originally it was to publicize my books.
How is that going?
December’s profits were $3.18.
Wow, you won’t have to worry about income tax.
I’m spread too thin.
Did you really think people were going to read about Downs?
I guess at the time they need it they dont think of blogs.
And Incest?
At least I had my say. Repeating what’s in my book is dumb.
So, you can abandon two of your pages?
Yeah, and the “My Books” page. I mention them in the profile.
So after all that work you’re going to euthanize 3 pages?
No, just let them hibernate for a decade or two.
Ahem. How old did you say you are?
Eighty…Why?

Were You Affected by Incest? I Was…

Published January 27, 2016 by Nan Mykel

If you’re 3 out of 4 females following or reading this  blog, then I’m happy that incest did not touch you.  The stats for males are less clear, perhaps because they fear it reflects on their manhood.

If you were exposed to incest, you may be like me–discounting the effect it had on you.  Men who commit incest, even those who were molested by a family member themselves, deny to themselves that it caused any psychological damage to them…or to their later victims, if there are any.  I always assumed that “this” is the real me; not the dregs left after the incest. I used  to treat incest offenders in prison and recall one  of the men denying that incest was harmful: “It happened too me and I turned out all right,”  (he said from his prison cell).

When I retired I decided  to write a  book about  incest, in an attempt  to illustrate from the research literature, and my own experience, the damage it causes.  I targeted it a little too much toward the offenders, I guess, because it hasn’t sold.

I was impressed that whether someone is judged to be damaged or not reflects the kind of measuring device used.  Some offenders said, “she wasn’t hurt. She got married, didn’t she?” or, “she went to college.”  I’d like to share with you some of the effects highlighted by David Finkelhor, all of which I eventually owned in myself:

Powerlessness.  The experience contributes to the survivor following a “victim” role later in life. Being trapped in the situation is part of this. How many teenaged suicides are due to being trapped and seeing no way out?

Betrayal.  The experience of being betrayed by someone you trust can’t help but leave the survivor less trusting in later intimate relations–or unable to engage in them. Or carrying a chip on your shoulder?

Damaged Goods.  It seems everything conspires to make the survivor feel dirty and damaged, especially carrying the burden of keeping the secret.

Sexualized.  Being introduced to sex in a deviant, underhanded, secretive manner developmentally limits the child. Developmental stages are a natural unfolding of growing and maturing and when a stage is blocked, there is a loss.

Another effect which Finkelhor does not specify is the defense mechanism of introjection, in which powerful aggressive figures are incorporated into their victim’s psyche, resulting in self hate and a tremendous  ambivalence in feeling toward the perpetrator. This is referred to  as the “Trauma Bond,” and often results in the victim seeking  out other abusers.

Another eye-opener from the research for my book was evidence that the victims who were first “incested” before the age of nine tend to be more depressed, while those first incested after nine tend to carry more anger.

The grief experienced during healing almost always focusses on the loss of “what might have been.”

The preceding is just a nutshell of info discussed in the book “FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Ofenders,” available from Amazon.  Sorry I’m light in references here, but they are available either in the book or by e-mailing me: nmykel@gmail.com.

Strides toward therapeutic relief for survivors have been made in recent years, and are discussed at length in the section on “Getting to Okay.”  And, there is always strength in mutual support.  I have come across several survivors working on their healing via their blogs. I will try and add to these resources.

MY METAPHOR

Published January 25, 2016 by Nan Mykel

Come jump into my arms, you furry-feathered verse!
I’ll know you when I see you, either wordy or terse.
Let your metaphor roll in like an occupying force;
sit up high in your saddle on your literary horse!
A shining black stallion, he snorts and passes by
leaving a desolated mule who gives a piteous sigh.
My metaphor has four legs and is not a happy guy.
He does not jump into my arms or even give a try
but nuzzles me as though to say,
“Thanks for waiting for me today.”

HOME IS THE WRITER

Published January 23, 2016 by Nan Mykel

My computer desk is not well lit. I don’t know why, unless it’s to keep company with my flailing vision. I know it’s “failing,” but if a writer can’t have a little fun, who can? Surrounding me, floor to ceiling, are remnants of my former craze for genealogy.  In the new digital robotic age, nobody cares, not even me. If we should meet ancestors in the sweet by and by we can introduce ourselves, surely!

And my books! They say writers should read, but… three copies of a book because I like it so much?

So much personal history! Who gives a hoot, as the old owl says.  My old report cards—with comments from teachers— Mrs. Arvesons’ two A-pluses on my term paper in ninth grade, my  National Honor Society certificate from high school and my tennis team letter, not to mention a drawer full of Christmas cards and correspondence from friends and acquaintances for more than 50 years;  at least 100 videotapes shot by me for Public Access line my shelves—many shelves.   Last week I came across a letter of congratulations for a forensic evaluation I did 25 years ago, which brings me to the question of why am I in two writing groups and maintain a busy blog and volunteer for public access when I need to spend a year dispensing with my junk?

Given my propensity for hoarding, how can I write anything, you might say?  Well, it has to do with escaping the melee I have created and continue to create. And oh yeah I forgot to mention  my blind deaf cat who requires his sanitary floor sheet changed daily.

After having an earlier computer fine-tuned at Staples, I lost it when I put it on top of my car and drove away. Now I have an hp  guaranteed to last a year, most of which has expired. My huge blonde computer desk sits more or less inside a vacant closet, whose doors are stuck under my bed in another room ..

Self-publishing three books last year was a step forward; I had file folders full of short stories, journal entries and info from the last job I held, so I published them to get rid of them.

Due to short cords and other unknown factors, I have to type—such as I am doing now—with my keyboard in my lap. As I survey the top of my computer desk I see the dregs of a glass of a cocoanut rum mixture, reading glasses from Dollar Tree, two new pairs of socks that are too small for me, a pack of hearing aid batteries, 4 paperback books, three flash drives, a screwdriver, a Diet Coke bottle top, a computer cord that I don’t recognize, an antique toy rolling pin I bought as a gift but never gave, and a green pair of pliers left from loosening  a recalcitrant   bottletop. Oh, then on the pull-out lap computer shelf there is a banana peel sans banana, a checkbook,  a journal and a free copy of a book by Bill Cosby.

I do love to be able to start writing at midnight  if I like, or groggily tap out a dream early in the morning.  See, it is 1:15 a.m. now.                                                            Nan

 

 

 

Neglected Page

Published January 20, 2016 by Nan Mykel

mandy red shoes.jpg

THIS IS MANDY MYKEL

I’ve been so busy with different blog pages that I have badly neglected my Downs Syndrome page. Tonight I discovered two excellent downs blogs and have included a couple of excellent resources from the noahsdad blog on my page. Another blog that I have found stimulating is http://www.meriahnichols.com/aboutcontact/

I recently changed the name of this page to Dear Down’s.

 

Our Shadow Selves and Guns

Published January 18, 2016 by Nan Mykel

Carl Jung’s “shadow” concept –the part of us we reject, deny and project onto others–would appear to contain in addition to traits we are ashamed of,  also traits and beliefs that are unconscious, leading to mistakenly motivated beliefs and actions. .  I know that’s a mouthful, but for example, evolution’s kinship selection seems to underly prejudice which we deny and are unaware of.

Strongly held drives and unconscious emotional beliefs can  can result in illogical decisions.  One such effect is associated with gun champions.   According to Shankar Vedantam, who painstakingly researched and published  The Hidden Brain,  uivocally is no. “The issue is whether people who live in homes with guns are safer as a result of owning a gun, and the answer  is unequivocally no.” (p 235).   The combined risk of “accidents, suicide and domestic violence dwarfs the risk of homicide at the hands of a stranger.” (p 236).

“We certainly feel more control  when we have a gun in our posession, and it is easy to confuse the feeling of control with safety. Indeed, this is an unconscious bias in the hidden brain….” p 237

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