Humor

All posts tagged Humor

Funny, for Writers

Published August 8, 2021 by Nan Mykel

Umberto Eco  (1932-2016)

  1. Avoid alliterations, even if they’re manna for morons.
  2. Avoid cliches: they’re like death warmed over.
  3. Never generalize.
  4. Hold those quotes. Emerson aptly said, “I hate quotes.  Tell me only what you know.”
  5. Don’t write one-word sentences. Ever.
  6. Recognize the difference between the semicolon and the colon: even if it’s hard.
  7. Do you really need rhetorical questions?
  8. Be concise; try expressing your thoughts with the least possible number of words, avoiding long sentences–or sentences interrupted by incidental phrases that always confuse the casual reader–in order to avoid contributing to the general pollution of information, which is surely (particularly when it is uselessly ripe with unnecessary explanations, or at least non indispensable specifications) one of the tragedies of our media-dominated time.
  9. Don’t be emphatic!  Be careful with exclamation marks!
  10. No need to tell you how cloying preteritions are.

 

PEACE

Published January 5, 2021 by Nan Mykel

INNER PEACE –  If you can start the day without caffeine
If you can always be cheerful, ignoring aches and pains,
If you can resist complaining and boring people with your troubles,
If you can eat the same food every day and be grateful for it,
If you can understand when your loved ones are too busy to give you any time,
If you can take criticism and blame without resentment,
If you can conquer tension without medical help, If you can relax without alcohol, 
If you can sleep without the aid of drugs,  Then You Are Probably The Family Dog
And you thought I was going to get all spiritual …  
Handle every Stressful situation like a dog.
 If you can’t eat it or play with it, piss on it and walk away.

(This passage originally came from my mail and before that came from a friend’s French Canadian friend. I claim no credit or anathema for it.)

A Good One…

Published August 18, 2020 by Nan Mykel

As the Harper’s Magazine for September reports, “Online murder-for-hire advertisements seek to convey professionalism yet tend not to provide references up front…”

P.S. This was at the end of the Findings paragraph: “Psychopaths recommended harsher punishmengts for homicides, whether accidental or motivated by profit, but exhibit relative low concern about killing in general.”

Re-blog from Chelseaannowens.com

Published June 22, 2019 by Nan Mykel

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Sleeping Giant – funny reblog

Published June 19, 2018 by Nan Mykel

Belly laugh…

qbit

“I’m quite tired of beating myself up to write. I think I’ll start letting the words slip out like a tired child. ‘Can I have a piece of pie’ he asks, and then he’s asleep back on the cusp of the moon.”
– Jim Harrison

Quetzalcoatl, the Aztec god of primordial creation, swaggered drunk through the door at 6AM this morning as I was getting ready for work.

He does this every time he comes to visit – drinks pulque all night with his cousins in Queens, then comes to sleep it off on my couch.

When he wakes up he will eat an entire box of Pop-Tarts and drink all the orange juice. He’s just like that. Fun god to know, but lousy houseguest.

With all those snakes and war hammers and other cool god gear I can’t really say no, although my wife thinks I could just not…

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