Humor

All posts tagged Humor

Quote from Child of Cynicism

Published October 31, 2016 by Nan Mykel

(Re Wallflowers)

We’ve come to the conclusion that if we’re single at 40, we’ll marry each other-I mean, there’s no sexual attraction, but I dont see why we couldn’t be an asexual/watching countryfile together kind of partnership. She’s my safety wife, and, in all honesty, she’d probably last longer than a cat. There’d be no vet bills either, and I’d like to think she’d pay her way.

Wild Over David

Published June 23, 2016 by Nan Mykel

      DAVID

We always thought her meek and mild

until the day that she went wildDavid

and fell in love with an antique Greek,

or should I say a Greek antique?

She gave a moan and then a shriek

that echoed through the whole boutique

and without a pause

with hands like claws

she clasped him to her ample bust,

moved not by piety I think but lust.

As a matter of fact he was scantily clad

and to tell the truth I think she was  glad.

 

Trying New Theme

Published May 27, 2016 by Nan Mykel

It’s not that I’m bored with blogging–I’m not–although I can’t get anyone to have a look at incest postings (I then wipe them out). It’s just that other blogs seem so much more exciting. I’m experimenting… I’m going to try and find a photo to dress up this lament. Well, I could share a little ditty from Time Wrinkles:

There once was a woman named Myrtle

whose body resembled a turtle.

But no one knew

except those few

who helped her into her girdle.

img_496136257275131wallpapercave.com/

POOR HOUSE BOUND

Published April 5, 2016 by Nan Mykel
Creative Commons

Image result for creative commons poor old couple image

(My library group came up with all of these prompts:) delicious, horse, croissants, eviction, pardon

POOR HOUSE BOUND

They decided to end it all—

This penny-pinching was no good

and so they headed for the mall

to see what their pocket money could

buy. Searching cheap yet delicious,

they hoped horse would be nutritious.

Two croissants finished the menu.

 Their front stoop being their venue,

the landlord found them sitting there

looking quite satisfied, of course,

after they spent the rent on horse.

With the eviction delivered,

the old woman shivered

while her man gave a booming  belch,

which he was unable to squelch,

saying “Pardon,” but his sly grin

grew and then got away from him.

 

What’s the Sexiest Visible Part of a Man?

Published March 28, 2016 by Nan Mykel
Attractive-man-by-Enrique-Lin-Creative-Commons                         Enrique-Lin=Creative Commns

No, you go first. What’s your first preference? Your second?  Me, I think the eyes, especially the bedroom eyes, wih their big pupils and lids at half-mast.

Now a confession — no, not a confession about sexy no-no’s, but a confession about why I wrote this post.  I wanted to see what it did for my readership — blogwise, that is.

I’m curious. though.  Did you agree with me on either your first or second preference?  Been there, done that…..

P.S. Research has shown that the better looking he is, the more selfish. Not true for women, hoever…

DOROTHY IN BLOGLAND

Published February 7, 2016 by Nan Mykel

For Open Link night at http://dversepoets.com/2016/02/18/open-link-night-166/

AliceDOROTHY IN BLOGLAND?

No no, Newbie!

                 It’s ALICE.

ALICE IN BLOGLAND!  

Oh, write. But does

Alice have a

wizard?  Well

no, but there’s a

Cheshire Cat.

<floridaborne> has a

cat. What else?

Alice has a Jabberwok.

Well, <dVersepoets> and

<Katiemiafrederick>

seem to have one,

two.

Does Alice have a

narcissist? Why would 

anyone want one

of those?

<Notesfromanarcissist> to himself

has 51,626 followers at

his blog. Or do you

think he’s just

bragging?

 But Alice has

millions of followers,

in books.

 Well, my name isn’t

 Dorothy OR Alice,

but i THINK i have

21 FOLLOWERS!

nanmykel.com

jabberwok

Funny Obituary (Mine)

Published January 6, 2016 by Nan Mykel

BABYPI_2

     Retired prison psychologist Nan Mykel passed away last week at the age of 79*, with her boots on. As reported in a recent interview, she said her workplace had expanded from a small prison to embrace the entire county of Athens, Ohio, where she had lived since 1980.
    Whether it was volunteering at the local public access television channel in Athens where she produced Kaleidoscope, a weekly show, caretaking her 6-page Word Press blog or squeezing out words for the library’s poetry and writing groups, her mind remained in a frenzy, searching for new ways of looking at things.
     It is reported that even on weekly trips to Gallipolis, where she took her Downs Syndrome daughter to lunch Sundays, she drove with paper and pen on the car seat beside her to capture elusive poetry ideas. (Now that she’s gone that illegal practice can be recorded).
     Nan was of the old, old school, growing up in a world of mechanical typewriters. The advent of wires, cords, connectors,  monitors, mice and internet passwords caught her unawares and it was with grim determination that she cautiously inched her way into the computer age. Once on its threshold, she rushed to self-publish three books, which comprise her legacy, along with the refurbished hp and other “stuff” that occupied her home office.
     Rumors that she was not a good housekeeper are apparently true, as we discovered on our post-mortem visit.
     Incidentally, as an aside, the germ of this obituary was conceived on the Nustep machine at Heart Works in Athens, Ohio, the day after her first and last poetry group session.
     And now it can be told: her password, which is etched on her tombstone, was “hairballs”.
*She was always cagey about her age. She could have been 80.

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