A . A . A D . D . – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder.
This is how it manifests:
I decided to water my garden.
As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I looked over at my car and decided my car needs washing.
As I started toward the garage , I noticed that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.
I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.
I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.
So I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.
But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway. I may as well pay the bills first.
I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only 1 check left.
My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find a can of coke that I had been drinking.
I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over.
I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.
As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye– they need to be watered.
I set the coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.
Then I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.
I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.
Someone left it on the kitchen table.
I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the table, so I decide to put it back in the den where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.
I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.
So, I set the remote back on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.
Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.
At the end of the day:
—-the car isn’t washed,
—-the bills aren’t paid,
—-there is a warm can of coke sitting on the counter
—-the flowers don’t have enough water,
—-there is still only 1 check in my checkbook,
—-I can’t find the remote,
—-I can’t find my glasses,
—-and I don’t remember what in the word I did with the car keys !
Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled, because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired.
I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it,
but first I’ll check my e-mail.
Don’t laugh– if this isn’t you yet, your day is coming ! ! !
Growing older is mandatory.
Growing up is optional.
Laughing at yourself is therapeutic.
P.S. I just walked outside and SOMEONE LEFT THE WATER RUNNING IN THE DRIVEWAY !
I don’t remember if I wrote this or someone else did.