Envy is a no-no word, harsher than jealous. When I feel envy I admit to myself that I have failed, and I think I feel more anger than when I feel jealous. Jealousy feels more childish, or adolescent. Envious reaches the stage of gnashing teeth, a dark corner to plot revenge in, and the garbage can–no, sewer pot.
Does it also carry with it a dislike of the person envied? I’m just exploring my id, you see. I can’t easily imagine feeling envy of someone I like and enjoy. I’ve decided (now) that envy may be the most multi-leveled and torturous emotion of all. Hate is clean and honest in comparison.
At least feeling envious leads me to my dashboard to reflect.