The Bus Driver – A haibun

At 60 and after the death of my wife, my daytime and dreamtime is peopled with those who ride my transit bus.  Mostly poor and straggling, they are glad to see me.  I like that.  Some call me Frank, others Mr. Sloan.  I see Mrs. Gaines waiting up ahead and know that means a struggle to get her into my bus. She’s cheerful though and that makes up for the loss of time. Riders depend on my schedule, you see, and I try not to disappoint them.

 

Birds on limb singing

Seasons they do come and go

Moonlight sonata

 

 

 

About Nan Mykel

I used to think I would be a child prodigy, but then I got old. Formerly I had fantasies of rubbing elbows with cultural and academic leaders but that did not come to pass because I did not become a cultural or academic leader or any other kind of leader, for that matter. I am not even an "Alpha Dog," a term learned from a friend who had to become "Alpha Dog" in order to influence her own pet. (When gazes lock, she never looks away.) For years I expected to become a published author, but in passing I could not avoid the fact that I had little to contribute to the world's bulging dumpsters. I'm embarrassed to report that I also considered my primary process artistic productions powerful, rather than mildly neurotic. Which is not to say that I disrespect myself, only that I am beginning to doubt my potential for making a mark on the world. If I focus on strict self discipline I may be able to keep my garbage removed on a weekly basis, to keep the kitty box changed, the clothes cleaned, the dog watered, fed and walked, but that just catches me up to the starting mark again. When writing I physically grapple with words, wrestling them from their indifference into attempted chunks of awareness. I sit heavily on my chair; I breathe in artificially cooled air; my ear drums note the tap tap of the keyboard and the steady uninterrupted sound of the air conditioner, What is that sound? The roar of the ocean from 30 yards away...Inside, my thoughts are are balls in an electronic game machine, bouncing hither and yon from lever to lever. I am a little grim and intent until I recall a dream related by a black man in the prison where I once worked. He said that when he was a small boy, back home, he dreamed he was standing on his front porch pissing, and that he suddenly found himself pissing stars...
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3 Responses to The Bus Driver – A haibun

  1. Vivian Zems says:

    Love this haibun—- you painted a scene I could imagine myself in.

    Like

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