An Apology: Dissociation?

Many years ago (as in 20) I was in a “dream group” with one other person, who would stop by my house to discuss our dreams.  For some external reason it was to be our last session. I felt on a friendly basis with her, but recently I ran into her at a public gathering and while she nodded at me she avoided eye contact, and the greeting wasn’t nearly as friendly as I would have expected. I belong to a brown bag luncheon group now and as I was leaving the hostess asked if I knew ___ and I said yes and she replied  that the woman had asked if I was going to be in attendance that day.  Interesting, but the fact is that, possibly in response, she chose not to attend that day.

I can only guess that my mild dissociative tendencies had kicked in after she related a dream and my failure to respond was  noticeable and interpreted as specious.  It was a sensitive dream and I didn’t know what to say and I think I withdrew and she felt exposed. I can’t use my mild tendency to dissociate as an excuse because it’s so amorphous. I’m recalling another possible example when I called a friend who then told me her father had just died, and I went silent, reflecting, I think. But she didn’t let me off the hook and lit into me for not responding. I apologized and told her that if she could have seen my face she should would know that I was responding, but…

Has anyone else experienced this kind of difficulty?

 

About Nan Mykel

At 79, I was just about to stop keeping a journal, but that felt like accepting that growth was finished. I don't want to be finished, yet! I'm 80 now, and struggling to communicate with you, if you'll come and set awhile. P.S. My how time flies! I'm 82 now.
This entry was posted in Apologies, Dissociation, Interpretation and tagged , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to An Apology: Dissociation?

  1. I most certainly do have this difficulty! Except I didn’t know it was called disassociation. It’s since I got to know you that I’m learning the terminology for my condition, the various forms it takes. People have called me stupid in my younger years because of it. In the middle of a conversation I’d just zone out, go quiet. Do you think approaching your friend with an explanation would help?

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