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All posts for the month February, 2017

BETRAYAL: Dialog with Serena

Published February 9, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Serena’s comment: Nan, that’s a useful insight. I’m nervous, though, about the descriptor “more”. I would say the dynamics are simply different. For example a child abused by a teacher who is their hero/ine. Or by a priest who is the conduit of their daily prayers to their Creator, who they love? Having said that I agree it’s about Trust. Not a word I understand, I’m afraid.

sadgirlPnterest.jpg

Photo courtesy of  Faisal Jawaid  info@www.google.com/imgres?imgurl=http://gdj.gdj.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/07/kits-photography-3.jpg&imgrefurl=http://graphicdesignjunction.com/2013/07/kids-photography/&h=750&w=500&tbnid=0sYvrGsLE8-ErM&tbnh=275&tbnw=183&usg=__TxaMRYu_LpNDk4KTslifxXTYJlA=&docid=YFx0JFHX82-3wM

 

Nan’s Reply:  Yes, I agree that as stated by Shengold is a bit confusing. I just now clarified in my post that these words were his own. I think he’s narrowing himself to the issue of broken trust. I don’t think I’m saying it very well. Finkelhor (1986) outlined four different damaging effects of Incest (powerlessness, damaged goods, betrayal and damage to the victim’s sexuality.) Under the rubric of “incest” he included both blood and non-blood incest (to include such caregivers as babysitters, coaches, teachers, clergymen, etc.).

When someone says “I don’t get mad, I get even,” it is likely that he or she has experienced betrayal. It is one of Finkelhor’s four factors in child sexual abuse, and carries with it anger, depression, clinging, impaired judgment of others, and isolation. When the child’s personhood is disregarded and they are related to only as a sex object, there is also bitterness. “At the moment of abuse, with its profound betrayal of relational and generational boundaries, illusion is forever smashed.” (Frawley-O’Dea 1997, 95).

THE ABOVE IS THE KIND OF EXPLORATION AND EXCHANGE that I welcome.  Feel free to share your thoughts and/or experience.

BETRAYAL

Published February 9, 2017 by Nan Mykel

According to Shengold, “sexual abuse by a parent is more traumatic than by other individuals, due to the level of betrayal involved. In later relationships it is not unusual for survivors to evidence their ambivalence by vacillating between rage and passivity. Extreme dependence and an inablity to assess the trustworthiness of others are also common. In the absence of healing, prognosis for a good marriage is guarded, due to what Shengold  calls a “pseudorelatedness that disguises a deeply seated misrust of others based on experienced reality,” (Shengold, 1989, 315).

I remember the story my father told me about a man who was urging his child to jump in the water, assuring the child that she or he would be caught. Finally, in a leap of faith, the child jumped in and the father stepped aside and did not catch the child. My father said, “The lesson is, don’t ever trust anyone.” (p 176)

 From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi

DAMAGED GOODS

Published February 9, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Herman…observes that “the profound sense of inner badness becomes the core around which the abused child’s  identity is formed.” (1992, 105).  Blume refers to the child’s sense of being “soiled and spoiled.” (1990, 244).

“The notion that a truly evil ‘other’ is embedded deep within the victimized daughter is a reflection of the sexual nature of  her violation. The penetration of the body is experienced  as the penetration of her true self, creating within her psychic being a place of evil and shame that is a source of stigma and self-hatred.” –Janet Liebman Jacobs, 1944).

My father stressing that “boys want only one thing”  undoubtedly fed into my self-devaluation. I assume now that  at that moment  he was excluding himself, but I was not sufficiently quick or brazen to call him on it. (p. 172)

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

If You Wear Dentures…

Published February 8, 2017 by Nan Mykel

You don’t have to tell me, but as my favorite school teacher used to say, “a word to the wise is sufficient.”  Since I’ve let everything else in my life hang out, I’ll let this secret surface too, all for the public good.

I’d been envying those with real, super white teeth and when I saw Polident’s new whitening tablets I thought ‘d give them a try. Once. Once, because after one use the pink in my dentures turned lavender!  Did I want to try more to make them more white? No I did not! I then got them re-lined and that dentist said he was not surprised at my experience–never put coloring agents on dentures. Just thought you’d like to know.horrified-emoticon

 

A Verse: Too Late, Son

Published February 8, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Re-printed from “Time Wrinkles” by Nan

The plutonian hare was a-flurry.

he packed his valise in a hurry.

His quandary was great, insofar’s

he’d been invited to one of the stars.

 

Feebly came grandpa’s invitation–

weakly, from ion dissipation.

Through myriad light years it had come,

leaving thoughtful elder rabbits glum.

 

Oh little hare why scurry scurry

to pay a call on Grandpa Furry?

You had best take precious care

before you call on a forebear hare.

 

 

SO-Would we have souls to endow our creations with?

Published February 6, 2017 by Nan Mykel

I recall an incest offender in our group who admitted to being cruel to his dog because “animals don’t have a soul.”  So we wouldn’t have to worry about being cruel to our DNA creations?  I’d bet a pretty penny the government already is perfecting aggressive fighting men.  Remember MkULTRA? Even scarier with Trump and is men in power.

There’s a super excellent rundown on Free Enquiry Jan. 2012 , 32 (1) 18-41+

Tree Black & White

TINKERING WITH DNA – SHADES OF GEORGE ORWELL

Published February 6, 2017 by Nan Mykel
From:  http://worldbuilding.stackexchange.com/questions/4437/is-there-any-likely-reason-why-personal-dna-tinkering-machines-would-become-wide/4443#4443
I noticed a while ago that DNA sequencing and sequence construction machines were being sold in magazines like Scientific American, with standard one-page glossy adverts (“For all your sequencing needs!”). They have snappy names, like mobile phones – e.g. “NextSeq500”. The move from lab-built-prototypes to off-the-shelf industrial machinery has already happened . . . – Neil Slater Nov 23 ’14 at 10:54

 

MORE BELOW  [Wouldn’t  Trump like to play with this!]

 

Sure! Imagine a home device that lets you create a self-replicating solar or sugar powered autonomous intelligent mobile life form capable programmed to do exactly what you want? Customize your food, customize a pet, make a wasp that will hunt down that annoying fly in your room. The only limit is your imagination. I think it would have a lot of the same appeal as programming for yourself and 3D printing for yourself. Of course all this would require some pretty impressive tech behind it, but assuming it’s there I think people would love the kind of creativity and power that such a device would provide.

Here are some more examples of various uses I could foresee people using.

Food: Customize the flavor profile, texture, and nutritional content of any plant, animal, or other organism. Also, synthesis of virtually any organic compound.

Pets: Customize the size, shape, color, and behavior of your own completely unique pet.

Art: Living art. Slime molds that sculpt themselves and other living, thinking, responsive art.

Gardening: Related to art, imagine making your own flowers and other decorative plants. Any color and any pattern you can imagine. You can also customize animals to maintain your garden for you, kill any weeds or pests that show up, while watering and fertilizing.

Cleaning: Keep your house clean with patrolling insects that dust and mop and automatically clean up any spills, (and of course keep out of sight while you are looking.)

Hygiene: We have trillions of bacteria living inside of us and on us. Imagine a strain that will help whiten your teeth instead of yellowing it and give you nice breath while it’s at it. A living perfume or antiperspirant would be a great replacement for our stinky armpits cultures. Even living makeup would be possible.

Pest control: with all this rampant engineering some people are bound to make mistakes or play pranks. Unwanted organisms from the next door neighbor might be annoying and how else are you going to get rid of them but with organisms of your own?

Communication: What better way to get a message out than with a mobile self-replicating living billboard? Something as simple as a pigeon with a company’s logo or an anarchy symbol.

These ideas would require an incredibly complete knowledge of how organisms work. But with that knowledge I see no reason why any of these possibilities are impossible. With complete control over the DNA sequence and a complete knowledge of what changes to that sequence will do the possibilities are endless.

Changing your internal dialogue to NOT WANT TO DIE – Re-blog

Published February 6, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Honest sharing reblog from Bethany Kays and Not My Secret–Overcoming the Shame of Sexual Abuse

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