Herman…observes that “the profound sense of inner badness becomes the core around which the abused child’s  identity is formed.” (1992, 105).  Blume refers to the child’s sense of being “soiled and spoiled.” (1990, 244).

“The notion that a truly evil ‘other’ is embedded deep within the victimized daughter is a reflection of the sexual nature of  her violation. The penetration of the body is experienced  as the penetration of her true self, creating within her psychic being a place of evil and shame that is a source of stigma and self-hatred.” –Janet Liebman Jacobs, 1944).

My father stressing that “boys want only one thing”  undoubtedly fed into my self-devaluation. I assume now that  at that moment  he was excluding himself, but I was not sufficiently quick or brazen to call him on it. (p. 172)

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

About Nan Mykel

At 79, I was just about to stop keeping a journal, but that felt like accepting that growth was finished. I don't want to be finished, yet! I'm 80 now, and struggling to communicate with you, if you'll come and set awhile. P.S. My how time flies! I'm 83 now.
This entry was posted in Damaged goods and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to DAMAGED GOODS

  1. This is so true. I still battle with feeling clean, or good. I had a mantra (or litany) some time ago – I’m a good girl. Over and over. For months, even years maybe. It worked a little bit.

    Liked by 1 person

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