Withdrawal

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An Apology: Dissociation?

Published June 11, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Many years ago (as in 20) I was in a “dream group” with one other person, who would stop by my house to discuss our dreams.  For some external reason it was to be our last session. I felt on a friendly basis with her, but recently I ran into her at a public gathering and while she nodded at me she avoided eye contact, and the greeting wasn’t nearly as friendly as I would have expected. I belong to a brown bag luncheon group now and as I was leaving the hostess asked if I knew ___ and I said yes and she replied  that the woman had asked if I was going to be in attendance that day.  Interesting, but the fact is that, possibly in response, she chose not to attend that day.

I can only guess that my mild dissociative tendencies had kicked in after she related a dream and my failure to respond was  noticeable and interpreted as specious.  It was a sensitive dream and I didn’t know what to say and I think I withdrew and she felt exposed. I can’t use my mild tendency to dissociate as an excuse because it’s so amorphous. I’m recalling another possible example when I called a friend who then told me her father had just died, and I went silent, reflecting, I think. But she didn’t let me off the hook and lit into me for not responding. I apologized and told her that if she could have seen my face she should would know that I was responding, but…

Has anyone else experienced this kind of difficulty?

 

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