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WHO? poem

Published December 1, 2019 by Nan Mykel

Our grandparents live

only in our memories. When we go,

they go.

Why care if we’re forgot?

                                           As if we never were?

                                           I speak of myself, now:

                                             Why do I care if I am forgot?

                                            As if I never was, never

                                              strove to overcome my limitations,

                                           only partly successful, yearning yet afraid?

                                            If truth be told, my heart is rusted

                                         from underuse.

                                           My children and grandchildren

                                          know this. Perhaps

                                        being forgot is not

                                   so bad after all.

 

Nan, Common Threads, 2012

 

I Learned Something Last Night

Published December 1, 2019 by Nan Mykel

 

I wanted feedback from my dreams last night so I “incubated” a dream, adding hypnogogic and hypnopompic  thoughts and images (the going to sleep and waking up periods) to my focus.  And I think I dreamed all night–during, before and after. But I learned that no matter how motivated, I could not record my dreams with my eyes closed, or even open while still lying down and not re-arranging myself in bed.

Day residues are easiest to recall, & the lone motorcycle in my condo’s otherwise empty parking lot (Thanksgiving, you know) clearly re-appeared in a fragment about a family next door not permitting a motorcycle to park in our own driveway.

The other dreams were fruitful, I could tell,  but too many to fully record any. I do remember hearing the sound of scissors cutting.  What I learned is that I must get new batteries for my old voice recorder if I want to really get serious about dreamsploring.

ENVY

Published November 30, 2019 by Nan Mykel

Envy is a no-no word, harsher than jealous.  When I feel envy I admit to myself that I have failed, and I think I feel more anger than when I feel jealous.  Jealousy feels more childish, or adolescent.  Envious reaches the stage of gnashing teeth, a dark corner  to plot revenge in, and the garbage can–no, sewer pot.

Does it also carry with it a dislike of the person envied?  I’m just exploring my id, you see.  I can’t easily imagine feeling envy of someone I like and enjoy.  I’ve decided (now) that envy may be the most multi-leveled and torturous emotion of all.  Hate is clean and honest in comparison.

At least feeling envious leads me to my dashboard to reflect.

COMMENT ON DO YOU AGREE?

Published November 27, 2019 by Nan Mykel

Judy Kim  […] a daySeoul Sister […]

I think affirmations only work if you actually believe in what you’re saying, but has no effect if you don’t believe in it. I don’t use affirmations because it seemed corny 😀. I think negative self-talk unfortunately works though because of all the criticism we’ve received in our lifetime

Nan says:

And those work because we actually believe them!  Good point.

Reblog of Savvy Comment to What’s the Alternative?

Published November 27, 2019 by Nan Mykel

katiemiafrederick on What’s the Alternative?.

Hope Is the Ballon that lifts Fear is the one that
Descends For Giving
Thanks Giving is
The Nature of
Flowers that
Rise Beyond
Thorns as
Most
Beautiful
Rose Colors
Life Eternally
Now Change Exists
But We Are the Navigators
For Flight or Descent Now
Thanks Nan inspiring
Poetry
You
Bring
In Rise of Rose..:)

WHAT’S THE ALTERNATIVE? – poetry

Published November 26, 2019 by Nan Mykel

Hope is good for the immune system.

Props us up so we don’t fall…

until we do.

 

Softens the features. Soothes

the brow, lifts the heart…

We chance it.

 

Would that it were a wrench to

tighten the bolts of our wobbly

world. Surer and tighter…

 

To live as though there were hope–

does that disrespect ourselves

or is it reasonable?

 

Helium balloons  lift  and maintain

until the journey’s over.

Sometimes.                                                                Nan             11/25/19

SALVATION — flash fiction

Published November 17, 2019 by Nan Mykel

      “Who’s Cremeans?” asked 10-year old Johnny, coming into the kitchen from play.

      Up to her elbows pummeling dough, his mother Elizabeth blew the hair out of her eyes and replied, “I give up. Who is he?”

      “Running for president, the sky says.”

     “Whatever are you talking about?” She noticed his muddy hands and said, “Come to the sink and wash up.”

     Johnny, tall for his age, was wearing a striped tee shirt and jeans. Red-headed like his mother, he did as he was told, then dried his hands and said, “Cremeans. Who is he?”

     “Mr. Cremeans was my high school principal. Why?”

     “He’s running for president, is all. Come look.”

      Elizabeth stepped out the back stoop to humor her son, dough still clinging to her hands. Johnny pointed up to the sky, where a line of disintegrating letters proclaimed, Cremeans for President.

     “Good question, Johnny. Don’t know that one….President of what?” Johnny shrugged his shoulders and watched as the small plane flew out of sight.

     Elizabeth was standing behind Johnny, and also watched as the plane disappeared. “I wonder which party he’s running for…or she.” Elizabeth returned to pummeling the dough while Johnny returned to searching the banks of their backyard creek for anything—mica, arrowheads, quartzite…

     Come suppertime the delicious fragrance of fresh baked bread wafted around the small family. James, husband and father at the head of the table, reported  the day’s news after giving the blessing.

     “They say a well-heeled dark horse has entered the race for President. No one’s heard of him before but he’s kicking up a storm.”

     “What party?” Elizabeth asked.

     “A new Salvation party. Evidently it’s been in the works a long time, undercover. All legal, t’s crossed.”

     “Salvation!” Elizabeth laughed. “We could use it!”

     “Where’s Cremeans from?” Johnny wanted to know.  “He might be Mom’s high school principal.”

     James threw up his hands. “The news people haven’t determined that yet—mystery man, mystery candidate, mystery funding.”

     Elizabeth buttered her toasty slice of bread. “I like the name of the party,” she said. “We registered again after we moved, didn’t we?”

     “You bet.” The conversation then turned to other topics—the Braves, the most recent mass shooting and the new movie playing at the local theater.

     The deadline for filing came and went, and Cremeans  was scheduled to make an appearance along with other front-runners.  The stadium was packed and a hush came over the crowd in anticipation of the first entrant. Applause greeted each one as they took their place on the stage, dressed to the nines, each wearing a silk necktie. There were no duplicate ties, nor near duplicates. Their secretaries must have conspired together.

     Each candidate was introduced to applause as they walked on, but the silence of a staring curiosity greeted Cremeans when, as the last of the candidates, he walked onstage dressed in working man’s clothes.  He was tall, rugged, middle-aged, bearded and sported a navy blue hooded duck quilted jacket, work jeans and journeyman’s boots.  His hair was iron gray and his blue eyes twinkled. Despite his blue eyes, Cremeans projected an Abe Lincoln aura. He did not remain for the show,  but addressed the audience: “Who here have their roots in England? Many hands waved.  Asia?..Ireland? China? Africa? …South or mid America?  He paused before asking…“North America?”  A small scattering of hands raised from the handful who resembled  Native Americans.

     He added, “If you elect me to be your president I swear to serve you with truth, compassion, and justice.”  With those words Cremeans strode off the stage to tumultuous applause, catching  a number of those cheering off guard, surprised by their own response.

     Conspiracy theorists who had been asleep before Cremeans’ appearance awoke with joie de vivre. Everyone, in fact, had a story. He was Lincoln’s reincarnation, maybe the Holy Spirit come to forgive the sinners and set them on the straight path.  That deteriorated into an argument about the definition of  the Holy Ghost, followed by the suggestion that Cremeans was really God incarnate. From whence had he sprung and where did the contents of his heavy coffers come from?  Perhaps them golden streets, it was rumored.

     Some swore they saw an aura/halo around his great head, and let themselves be mesmerized by Cremeans’  penetrating glance.  That he displayed strong compassion was beyond dispute.  But who would he select for a running mate?

     It appears he has a son.

                                                                           THE END

Copyright Nan Mykel 2019

Do You Agree?

Published November 9, 2019 by Nan Mykel

Augusten Burroughs writes that Affirmations are dishonest. “They are a form of self-betrayal based on bogus, side-of-the-cereal-box psychology..The truth is, it is not going to help to stand in front of the mirror, look into your own eyes, and lie to yourself. Especially when you are the one person you are supposed to believe you can count on.
“Affirmations are the psychological equivalent of sprinkling baby powder on top of the turd your puppy has left on the carpet. This does not result in a cleaner carpet. It coats the underlying issue with futility.” This Is How, p 4-5, 2012.

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