I’m Scared

I fear our leader may be delusional.  It seems possible he really believes what he says.  Two of his latest statements suggest seriously that he needs some  care.  I can only imagine how his staff must be trying to figure out how to get him to accept some help.  Given that we’ve had at least two presidents who were augmented behind closed doors by their spouses (or so I’ve I read), apparently this eventuality is not covered by the constitution.  As irate as I have been by his presidency, I am coming to experience more concern—and fear—tonight.

About Nan Mykel

I used to think I would be a child prodigy, but then I got old. Formerly I had fantasies of rubbing elbows with cultural and academic leaders but that did not come to pass because I did not become a cultural or academic leader or any other kind of leader, for that matter. I am not even an "Alpha Dog," a term learned from a friend who had to become "Alpha Dog" in order to influence her own pet. (When gazes lock, she never looks away.) For years I expected to become a published author, but in passing I could not avoid the fact that I had little to contribute to the world's bulging dumpsters. I'm embarrassed to report that I also considered my primary process artistic productions powerful, rather than mildly neurotic. Which is not to say that I disrespect myself, only that I am beginning to doubt my potential for making a mark on the world. If I focus on strict self discipline I may be able to keep my garbage removed on a weekly basis, to keep the kitty box changed, the clothes cleaned, the dog watered, fed and walked, but that just catches me up to the starting mark again. When writing I physically grapple with words, wrestling them from their indifference into attempted chunks of awareness. I sit heavily on my chair; I breathe in artificially cooled air; my ear drums note the tap tap of the keyboard and the steady uninterrupted sound of the air conditioner, What is that sound? The roar of the ocean from 30 yards away...Inside, my thoughts are are balls in an electronic game machine, bouncing hither and yon from lever to lever. I am a little grim and intent until I recall a dream related by a black man in the prison where I once worked. He said that when he was a small boy, back home, he dreamed he was standing on his front porch pissing, and that he suddenly found himself pissing stars...
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6 Responses to I’m Scared

  1. I heard how he punted people injecting themselves with disinfectant. How he said he has an ability to suss such things. Americans must be so embarrassed and yes, concencerned. The man is mad.

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  2. jilldennison says:

    Though I wouldn’t call him a ‘leader’ in any sense of the word, you are quite right … it is obvious to any who look or listen that he is not a sane person. Today, I understand, he blamed his falling poll numbers, that are strictly of his own making for his lies and terrible bungling of the pandemic crisis, on his campaign manager, and even threatened to sue the campaign manager (Brad Parscale) for the salary he has been paid. No, Trump is not sane … I have been saying for years that he is a madman, and people are finally seeing it. Unfortunately, the people in a position to do something about it, Mike Pence and the Cabinet, are too corrupt themselves to act on behalf of the people of this nation in order to protect the nation. Sad, but true. But Nan … don’t let fear overtake you … turn your fear into anger and speak out, write to your members of Congress, write letters to the editors of your newspapers, use your voice to help make a difference!

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