DIALOGUE WITH MISS CROSSPATCH

Published December 22, 2019 by Nan Mykel

ME: “You don’t know what I’ve been through!”

CP:“What?”

ME: “First, my daughter was coming from Atlanta to help me with speaking out at the Court House in Columbus about the disability funding settlement and someone ran into her and she totalled her car the night before she left for the airport to fly to see me.  She caught the plane the next morning, however, still bruised from the wreck,  drove  2 hours in another car to my place and the next day she drove another hour to pick up her little sister from a state facility to spend the night with us. She had set up a Christmas tree for her little sister to decorate, but turns out the little one (now 48) was too tired and slept 15 hours.  Upon taking her back the next day they stopped at Bob Evans and then saw Frozen Two. Well, I stayed home, of course. What did you expect at 84?

“Afterwards we went to an eatery with handmade jewelry on its walls but two women were sitting under the showcase of the necklaces we were interested in, so we waited for them to leave. And waited. They didn’t leave til closing.

“Meanwhile we were sorry we had left our Boggle at home so in desperation we made one up, using an algorithm. She still beat me.

“The next day I had a funeral to attend at 3 pm, and afterwards we rushed the hour long drive, together this time, to my youngest daughter’s  state facility to attend a Christmas Party,  where many good folks, including my eldest daughter,  caught an intestinal  virus.  I was proud it skipped over me, until the next day, in Court. After 2 hours sitting in a packed court room in Columbus,  it struck.  I had still not testified, if that’s the right name for it.

“I spent the next hour ensconced you-know-where and my eldest daughter testified for the family. Plans were for her to catch a plane back to Atlanta after Court and for me to make the 2-hour journey home on the GO-Bus.

“Well, you can imagine a 2-hour bus ride while being vulnerable to an intestinal attack.  I had been  stuck in a booth at the Court House in Columbus and my daughter’s plane for Atlanta was to fly away a little more than 4 hours later.  So, she pointed the car back to my place and drove the full speed limit. When we arrived she didn’t bother to get out, and we couldn’t even hug because I was virulent. (I had been sitting on an opened Time magazine during the entire dash home).

“The next day I ate a banana and applesauce and the day after I figured I could go back to eating regular. Wrong. Another round of intestinal upset. In the meantime my Spectrum wasn’t working, my cell phone’s battery was dead, my new computer hadn’t been fully installed, I had to make a visitor stand yards away from me, and I fell twice rushing out of bed for my landline.  And I guess it’s kinda my anniversary—been retired 20 years  and one side of my fanny is twice the size of the other because of the fall.  I guess it’s what I deserve for wasting that 20 years.”

CP:  “You’re right, but think about your eldest daughter, would you?…And look out the window at the lovely white snowflakes falling onto our winter wonderland…”

ME: “Yes, but my Spectrum still doesn’t work, my cell phone’s still dead, and I can’t post this on my blog…”

CP:  “You sound like a yes-butter to me.”

P.S. The hearing was in opposition to kicking people out of institutions.  One woman who spoke said both her parents had Alzheimers and she was caring for them at home.  When she asked for a placement for them she was put on a 10-year waiting list.

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