(The tune of Help Me Make It Thru the Night was running thru my mind)

I CAN’T

I can’t play hopscotch any more

Nor skate across an icy floor.

I know headstands would break my neck

I drove my car and caused a wreck.

 

It’s hard to write a funny verse

‘specially when you’re glum and terse.

I wonder if  I’ll ever see

A poem that’s sadder than my knee.

 

Oh I know it could be much worse—

I could have Trumpkin as my nurse,

Pointing at me and saying he

Would never make a pass at me.

 

BUT

Now I don’t have to clean my plate

Or remember to stand up straight

Oh what fun to say shit and damn

While chasing Mary’s little lamb.

 

Yet no one tucks me in at night

Or hugs me as my mother might.

Home made peach ice cream’s the best

I’d not swap it for all the rest.

 

I STILL KNOW

Little orphan Annie can say

Watch out for the Goblins today

They’re bigger than ever

And terribly clever—

 

Citizens United foretold

The capitalist manifold

That can squeeze you to death,

Smirking with glee at your last breath.

 

I guess there’s a Devil after all

Call him a Goblin, you say?

But the evil’s outrageous,

And it’s even contagious!

 

GOOD LUCK

For the next century—

I’m outta here.

 

JUST JOKING

Though not very funny, I guess

The whole thing’s a horrible mess.

Oh I’m moved now to barf

Do watch out for my scarf.

 

NEXT SCENE

Maybe it’ll be better after

My next round trip down home.

I’ll be pushing up sod

Only second to God

You watch; I’ll be back.