I’m becoming aware that one of my problems with blogging–theoretically/psychologically at least–is that I can’t hit a middle ground. Most other posters are positive or if not are mildly sad/reflective. Others seem so bitter/poor me-ish that they seem to be avoided. Only a couple, maybe, are by those strong enough to be both crushed and cemented back together, and sterlingly honest.
It seems most of my life I’ve been trying to protect others from me. I don’t want to grovel and I don’t want to influence others to either grovel or feel revulsion/pity or worse for me, or them. How can I share that part while blogging? I could try and conduct a collage no-words venue but it’s tough to do a collage without the fear of some copyright infringement. One of the attractions of blogging is the connection-with-others’ part, and to do a blog anonymously and let it all hang out does not seem a solution–I still might bring some others down to my level of craziness. . I know, therapy, but for me only a group would work and I don’t find too many kindred souls in this neck of the woods.
Does anyone else feel any pressure to seem a little more up-beat than they really are, for the sake of others? Dverse is fun and everyone praises your work, but…I bet I could construct the worst verse possible and get stroked for it. Maybe it’s not blogging but only life that’s that way. Maybe it’s just folks going through a temporary depression that feel that way.
At any rate, this post just expresses a problem for me, no solutions, and maybe it’s just a passing problem. If anyone else has something to offer, please do so. And by the way, I’m not looking for a cure just a way to be obnoxiously groveling and tearful, while biting any hand that reaches out to comfort. It sounds like a Shadow set-up to me, but that’s me!