This is a drawing from my journal December 28, 1975, and reprinted in Fallout: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders, 2014 p 244. It is from a mental image of my “ISH,” or Inner Self Healer (or Helper), as recognized and discussed by Christine Crawford, 1991, in Dissociation 4 (3), and E. Sue Blume, in Secret Survivors, 1990. Babette Rothschild (2000) refers to it as developing dual awareness. Ganga Stone (1996) appears to be referring to the same concept, although from a slightly religious perspective. She says, The Witness of the Waking State is so constant a presence in our lives that it’s hard to stay aware of it…But it’s very important to learn to catch hold of and identify with it because that changeless Witness is the One who makes it through the transition we call death….NOTE: The detached spectator is the Witness of the Waking State. That Witness is who you actually are….She suggests substituting in our thought self referants as our own name or “he” or “she” instead of I, such as “Nan is having a bad day today.” (Start the Conversation–The Book About Death You were Hoping to Find, Warner Books.)
My journal has often utilized drawings from my imagination in order to express more than words alone can. The journal portion of Fallout contains 28 drawings.
The drawing’s name for instance is “Nan,” the ISH, or the Witness of the Waking State, not “I.” A tad esoteric, eh? But try it; you might like it. P.S. I may add more to this–or should I make it a separate post? I forgot to include Allison, who came up with the ISH name, and Beahrs, who talks of purposefully utilizing healthy dissocation.