True, Friday night I was too busy looking up the word gopher in the dictionary to wash the dishes. Perhaps it served me right, because I found that Webster’s New Collegiate Dictionary 1973 defines the little feller as a “burrowing edible land tortoise.”
Now I ask you: what kind of person would focus on how eatable an animal is in its primary definition? Maybe a hungry non-vegetarian.
Curious, I rushed to look up human and found as I suspected that the definition does not include women. At least it didn’t say how edible cannibals consider us.
Why was I rummaging through the dictionary instead of busy in my kitchen sink? Because I was writing a haiku and wanted a better word for turtle to describe keeping dry within one’s shell. I didn’t find one.
Two on a Rant
Yep. The B word.
I gave 6 dogs a bath yesterday. I should give yoga-while-dog-washing classes. I sit on the edge of the tub with one leg outstretched so the poor over-loved dog can’t escape. He tries to duck under my leg. I wrap an arm around his back and start washing the legs on the other side of his body. It looks something like this…
…except the arm isn’t up in the air, it’s over a dog, and the leg is stuck out straight. Okay! I couldn’t find the exact pose. That’s why it’s called yoga-while-dog-washing.
This is what a put-upon 68 pound dog with 1st world problems looks like.
Oh the horror of it all! To be immersed in water and forced to watch half a yard worth of hard-earned dirt go down the drain.
To make matters worse, cats don’t get baths, they do that to…
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