change

I read all of The Brain That Changes Itself: Stories of Personal Triumph from the Stories of Personal Triumph From the Frontiers of Brain Science by Norman Doidge earlier, and I have a hypothesis about my own recent brain dysfunction:

My dysfunction is age related and involves current–and I mean current things. It appears I’ve almost totally lost any understanding of how to work cell phones and adapt to apple and Word Press updates and can’t find things, but appear to still have access to many of the things I learned in life, including my education and curiosity. I do remember my mother finding it impossible to work her tv, but then she was on her way to Alzheimer’s. At 87 I figure I’ve avoided Alzheimers, but surprise myself at my unequal limitations.

Yes, I guess I’ve always known that the brain tends to recede to earlier memories, but this seems extreme. This is what I’m wondering: (I do still claim ownership` of an unconscious)…

MAYBE my unconscious (let’s call her Ethel) refuses to let go of my “what if” tendencies out of loyalty to myself, and since they are more valued by “the real me,” I’ve traded cognitive space with everyday low-level functioning. Sounds like an excuse for brain slippage, doesn’t it? But it’s a real question, a real puzzler and a possible answer.

I’m still not willing to relinquish the real me for how to work a cell phone. Or maybe I’m just whistling in the wind….or the dark….

I used to be shy, even an Avoidant Personality, I think. Recently I’ve become one of those people who talk to strangers in public. (“Those shoes look comfortable.Where did you get them?”) This afternoon while napping I had a long dream in which I talked to many strangers, both male and female. When I woke up I was waiting for the right bus and preparing myself to take an abandoned kitten home with me, to a place that I knew wouldn’t be too happy about that.

I know on one level I’m waiting for “Sweet Chariot” to take me home. On another level my tongue is getting looser, maybe an early warning of the “D” word. Then it occurred to me that I have so few followers because I admit I’m over the hill. So I’ve decided to try a much younger avatar. I’ve suspected some of my followers do that, so I thought I’d try. My helper comes Monday night. Look for an avatar change Monday night, if she comes. (She got a bad thumb cut washing dishes. (That’ll show her!)