Does Blogging Change Your Personality?

I used to be shy, even an Avoidant Personality, I think. Recently I’ve become one of those people who talk to strangers in public. (“Those shoes look comfortable.Where did you get them?”)  This afternoon while napping I had a long dream in which I talked to many strangers, both male and female.  When I woke up I was waiting for the right bus and  preparing myself to take an abandoned kitten home with me, to a place that I knew wouldn’t be too happy about that.

I know on one level I’m waiting for “Sweet Chariot” to take me home. On another level my tongue is getting looser, maybe an early warning of the “D” word.  Then it occurred to me that I have so few followers because I admit I’m over the hill.  So I’ve decided to try a much younger avatar. I’ve suspected some of my followers do that, so I thought I’d try.  My helper comes Monday night. Look for an avatar change Monday night, if she comes. (She got a bad thumb cut washing dishes. (That’ll show her!)

About Nan Mykel

I used to think I would be a child prodigy, but then I got old. Formerly I had fantasies of rubbing elbows with cultural and academic leaders but that did not come to pass because I did not become a cultural or academic leader or any other kind of leader, for that matter. I am not even an "Alpha Dog," a term learned from a friend who had to become "Alpha Dog" in order to influence her own pet. (When gazes lock, she never looks away.) For years I expected to become a published author, but in passing I could not avoid the fact that I had little to contribute to the world's bulging dumpsters. I'm embarrassed to report that I also considered my primary process artistic productions powerful, rather than mildly neurotic. Which is not to say that I disrespect myself, only that I am beginning to doubt my potential for making a mark on the world. If I focus on strict self discipline I may be able to keep my garbage removed on a weekly basis, to keep the kitty box changed, the clothes cleaned, the dog watered, fed and walked, but that just catches me up to the starting mark again. When writing I physically grapple with words, wrestling them from their indifference into attempted chunks of awareness. I sit heavily on my chair; I breathe in artificially cooled air; my ear drums note the tap tap of the keyboard and the steady uninterrupted sound of the air conditioner, What is that sound? The roar of the ocean from 30 yards away...Inside, my thoughts are are balls in an electronic game machine, bouncing hither and yon from lever to lever. I am a little grim and intent until I recall a dream related by a black man in the prison where I once worked. He said that when he was a small boy, back home, he dreamed he was standing on his front porch pissing, and that he suddenly found himself pissing stars...
This entry was posted in age, change and tagged . Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Does Blogging Change Your Personality?

  1. joey says:

    One of my avatars is four years old, from when I started this blog. The other one is two years old when I tried to change it. I dunno, I did somethin wrong, shouldn’t have two.
    Anyway, maybe unburdening yourself here in blogland has made you a lighter, friendlier person 🙂 Whatever the reason, no matter your age, it’s always better to have a good time!

    Like

  2. This makes me laugh! I’m intrigued with your thesis – I certainly am a lot braver about speaking out – I wonder if it is because it is easy from behind the screen? I took someone’s head off the other day via text message, realised it is because I don’t have to face him and went out and stared him down just to feel better about myself – for not hiding. So I think you are right, blogging does make one loosen up a bit. And I think you’re far from the D-word. Don’t worry about it. It’s not going to happen to you.

    Like

Please share your own experiences here...

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.