Corot  1838

IT’S ABOUT LOVE

I don’t usually like folks’ grumpy rants, but here goes one of mine. Although I think of it more like expounding, than fussing. Still, it’s a new format for me.

I move to abolish the word “Love” and also the word “God.”  When folks use “love” in a communication they don’t know what they’re saying, nor do people who use the word “God.”

I think it’s already been validated that most folks don’t really know what they mean when they use the big G word; but how about “love?”

I’ll bet if we really knew it, “love” is more often used as a con than otherwise. And remember, when love deceives, the urge is often to try and hurt back. I think we’ve learned that parents who love their children too much are projecting themselves onto the child in a manner that inhibits the child’s own development. (See Normal Neurosis for more about this).

I guess almost all of us sign off from a phone converstion with family with “I love you,” although the content of the conversation may have been fraught with hostility.

So if we toss out the word “love” what do we use instead? Whatever’s really meant.  Desire; enjoy; like; am comfortable with; am dedicated to; am loyal to; am attracted to; feel close to sexually or emotionally; respect; value; etc. I’ve run out of words (temporarily). I suspect that when we use that word we are fooling ourselves as much as the “be-loved.”

It was with surprise that I learned during therapy that if an excessive amount of energy is put into a word or statement, it turns out the opposite is also true, that the extra energy reflects an underlying conflict. Kinda complicated, so you can ignore this.

Now, “I believe in God” has no content value at all, except that the speaker does not consider themselves an atheist or agnostic.  In general, it probably means that “I have a need to make sense out of life and to believe that it has meaning.” Or, “I am fulfilling a need to feel especially ‘loved’ and taken care of.”  (I understand the Hottentot’s God was a preying mantis, a fun statement that’s not really relevant here.)

Excuse me for using this space for a rant that’s not crucial.  I just felt an urge to “run off at the fingers.”

Ridiculous!  Doesn’t anyone who says this know how emotionally hurtful it is for the woman to be in a position where she HAS to let go of a piece of herself?  The current debate is scary because once again women are being portrayed as chattel, less than fully human and “a piece of personal property.”

wallpapercave.com/According to Calvin Hall and Vernon Nordby, every individual deams every night and throughout the night (p 16). “Every Westerner has had a least 1 dream about purchasing something, receiving a letter, taking an exam, making a phone call, riding in an auto, traveling by plane or ship, swimming or being in the water, visiting the doctor, watching a fire, going to the theater, and being in a confined or underground place.”  Dreams of being chased and attacked, or sex and aggression, of success and failure, or frustration and gratificaton, of food and eating, or animals and supernatural beings, of famly members, friends and strangers, of individuals and groups, of falling and flying — are universal.

How was this information arrived at?  Hall and Nordby studied over 50,000 dreams. Using new methods of quantifying content, they produced a “Content analysis” of dreams as reported in their book “The Individual and His Dreams.” (1972, New American Library).

Next to the house, the auto is the most frequently mentioned object in dreams….Misfortunes outnumber good fortunes by 6 to 1.  Fear, apprehension, anxiety and guilt as a category outnumber “happy” emotions by more than 4 to 1. The least common emotion is sadness.

They report that many more bad things than good things happen to the dreamer in his dreams, without exception, in their experience. People everywhere appear basically insecure. The authors believe that the hostility in dreams  is a projection of the dreamer’s own hostility, and that man’s insecurity stems more from his own nature than his environment.

MOTHER MICROBE

My first mom was a microbe–

it is written in my book;

randomness was all it took.

A virgin birth by golly,

no horny teenage folly.

T’was a sideways injection

and without an erection.

That’s the way microbes did it,

linking up to a tidbit

as it says here in my text:

a daisy chain without sex.*

*Life’s Engines by Falkowski

….felt sorry for me.  She ordered my book sight unseen…

SOMETIMES MY LUCK IS GREAT, SOMETIMES IT’S OTHERWISE.

Apparently WordPress thought the above might be spam so I was asked for a password which I couldn’t remember, having written in response to a reader who asked WHICH BOOK?

Answer: “FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders and Others: Plus Her Journal containing poems, drawings, quotes and Reflections,” the first and only book I published in 2015.

My commenter (via g-mail)  also asked what the photo was of (good question, I’ll confess). ANSWER: Photo of the dregs of a vacation a couple of years ago, when making smores got rained out, despite the umbrella, and we had go back inside to finish the job.  (See photo below). Thanks for the feedback!

Recovery is a state of mind which is as convoluted as the philosophical question “how long is a piece of string?” By definition it should be simple, recovery is a return to a normal state of health, mind, or strength nevertheless this is not as straightforward in reality, recovery is dependent on many factors which […]

via As A Victim I Survived – By Charlotte Farhan — On The Verge

Would it be too much to ask that candidates running for the office of president of the United States first undergo a mental health screening?  I won’t mention their supporters.

:>o

                      Our nature as human beings…

Lewis Thomas, in his 1984 work Late Night Listening to Mahler’s Ninth Symphony, writes that  it is our nature as human beings to clutter, and we hanker for places set aside, reserved for storage.  We tend to accumulate and outgrow posessions at the same time, and it is an endlessly discomforting mental task to keep sorting out the ones to get rid of. We might, we think,  remember them later and find a use for them, and if they are gone for good, off to the dump, this is a source of nervousness. I think it may be one of the reasons we drum our fingers so much these days.

( Wikipedia tells us that Lewis Thomas (November 25, 1913 – December 3, 1993) was an American physician, poet, etymologist, essayist, administrator, educator, policy advisor, and researcher.)