ONE PARAGRAPH PER CHAPTER – Chapter 12: After He Returns [from prison] Then What?

Published February 2, 2017 by Nan Mykel

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

Family of origin members do not want to believe the perpetrator is really a “sexual pervert,” They want to believe that it was a fleeting anomaly and and that after treatment and/or incarceration he is his “old self” gain. They will often send their own child off for a walk in the park with the perpetrator in order to reassure themselves that their family member is trustworthy once again. Red alert! Red alert! This is an extremely dangerous tendency. Do not put any child in harm’s way as a test! In their deterination to reassure themselves that their beloved transgressor is really a regular guy, family members may cooperate with relapse prevention plans on a a temporary basis only, not a life-long basis, as is required if re-offending is not to occur. One offender who had been in treatment lived acrss the street from a playground. After his release his wife confided that she was not letting him go over to the playground “yet.”….[Unfortunately, there is always the risk of re-offending]. (p. 118)

WHILE THERE’S TIME…

Published February 1, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Who knows what programs will be cut in order to pay for the Mexican wall? A democratic freedom-of-speech-grassroots-outfit like Public Access television could conceivably go on the chopping block. And in my opinion that would be a crying shame.

As a volunteer producer for years, I get choked up just thinking about it. What a wide-open and free canvas for local creativity! What an opportunity for community-building! Strut your stuff, Athens, Ohio! Use of the equipment is free, as is use of the 3-camera studio. This is me on my former weekly show Kaleidoscope, before old age and decrease in word-finding skills curtailed me: (No, I think it’s a different one):

There goes my mind! Catch it!

We have the capability for call-in-shows, skits, “green screen” backdrops, self-editing equipment. With sufficient volunteers we can “cover” League of Women Voter debates, Final Friday art shows, puppet skits, the Horse Pull and Demolition Derby at the Fair, demonstrations and marches, wild life, political discussion shows, turtle feeling, the Homecoming Parade, interviews with elected officials, Junior Producers, the Humane Society, NAMI and Steampunk shows, poetry readings, plus YOUR OWN talking heads show, if that’s your thing! All sows are scheduled several times a week (make that “shows!”)

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ANSWER TO JANUARY 28 QUIZ

Published February 1, 2017 by Nan Mykel

The treatment quiz:

Mary and her husband live on the south bank of a river. Her husband wants her to stay at home and not cross the river to the town. She wants to go to town. There is a bridge across the river, but men have been robbing and killing people who cross the bridge, and Mary’s husband won’t give her money for the ferry. Mary begins saving the grocery money for the ferry and crossing the river to town on the ferry while her husband is away. Finally, she meets a man in town and takes him as a lover. She crosses the river more frequently and he gives her money to get back home. He gets mad at her one day and refuses to give her the return fare home. She asks the ferryman to let her charge the return trip but he refuses, saying it is against company policy. Finally, she crosses the bridge and is killed.

Q- Whose fault is it that Mary was killed? (Answer on Feb. 1).

ONE PARAGRAPH PER CHAPTER – Chapter 11: The Sexual Bond

Published January 31, 2017 by Nan Mykel

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

Having been both classically and operantly conditioned to become aroused by deviant sex is a secret that hangs heavy on the heart of many victims of incest. Opening themselves to the possibility of sexual pleasure can be extremely difficult for survivors. As one woman said, “If positive sexuality is my right…I don’t think I want my right!” (Maltz and Holman 1987, 7). (p. 107)

ONE PARAGRAPH PER CHAPTER – Chapter 10: My Trauma Bond

Published January 30, 2017 by Nan Mykel

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

Broken boundaries, loss of boundaries, incorporation, intrusion, invasiveness, the edges of my self were in tatters. My defenses were down. I was haunted. Not only was Daddy the master manipulator but also the stealthy intruder who entered my dreams in various guises. For some time I had dreamed of a huge spider, sometimes waking in the middle of the night to see it up on the ceiling over my bed. Then one day I saw the connection, with a flash of clarity: the spider was my father’s hand, its legs his fingers. With that recognition, the spider dreams stopped forever. [These dreams were decades after cessation of the incest.] I don’t believe I ever wrote that down in my journal. (p. 102)

MORALITY REFLECTION – Culture

Published January 30, 2017 by Nan Mykel

FROM STEVEN PINKER’S The Blank Slate: p. 273

If only one person in the world held down a terrified, struggling, screaming little girl, cut off her genitals with a septic blade, and sewed her back up, leaving only a tiny hole for urine and menstrual flow, the only question would be how severely that person should be punished, and whether the death penalty would be a sufficiently severe sanction. But when millions of people do this, , instead of the enormity being magnified millions-fold, suddenly it becomes “culture,” and thereby becomes less, rather than more, horrible, and is even defended by some Western “moral thinkers,” including feminists.

What is your opinion?

ONE PARAGRAPH PER CHAPTER – Chapter 9: The Trauma Bond

Published January 29, 2017 by Nan Mykel

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

If you, the reader, are a survivor, I invite you to reflect as you read this book, whether or not you are journaling. If you were abused, take a moment to introspect. How do you feel toward your perpetrator? Angry? Protective? Sorry for him? Hate? Affection? Regret that you told or didn’t tell? How frequently does he cross your mind, and what do you experience at those times? Have your feelings changed over time? How? Have you moved beyond anger? Or did you short-circuit your anger into a “flight into health?” Did you feel compelled to forgive him? Why? Are you in any kind of continuing relationship with him or did you escape the tendrils? I was surprised to learn that strong continuing feelings between victim and perpetrator are an acknowledged and normal response to incest. The feelings resonating within the bond are stirred together: love, pity, disgust, shame, fear, empathy, guilt. (p. 90).

ONE PARAGRAPH PER CHAPTER – Chapter 8: A Metaphor

Published January 29, 2017 by Nan Mykel

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

Many”normal” men can can admire a nubile child but keep a safe distance. They can stay away from the quicksand of losing control. The quicksand is alive and bubbling, and emitting sucking sounds, ready to pull you down. Can you hear it? You don’t have to step in. You don’t have to go under. Isn’t it hell down there? Isn’t prison hell? A “normal” man–or one who is working on becoming normal–will run like the devil in the other direction, to save his hide and his soul. (p. 83)

ONE PARAGRAPH PER CHAPTER – Chapter 7: Will I Do It Again?

Published January 29, 2017 by Nan Mykel

From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi:

If the above list reminds you of any vulnerabilities to reoffending, then you have a “growing edge” that you can work on. Ask yourself, honestly, whether you want to reoffend… Since you’re focussing on yourself now, in the privacy of your own mind, you can isolate those events and thoughts that lead to offending, and commit yourself to avoid them. (p. 81)