A Couple of My Character Defects

Published June 9, 2018 by Nan Mykel

I was in fifth grade when I first became aware of a character defect in me, though I didn’t label it as such at the time. A bunch of us were in line for the teacher’s desk to have her check our papers and someone broke in line in front of me, whereupon I got out of line and retired to my desk, where I pouted. Does that suggest some kind of self punishment? Not as much as I had in the seventh grade when I recall reading the newspaper “social page” for reports of parties I hadn’t been invited to!

Of course the number of my character defects has increased exponentially–or at least my awareness of them–but one that remains is a stubborn unforgiveness of being called a liar directly or indirectly. In the early part of ninth grade the teacher caught someone talking when she wasn’t supposed to and in my loose boundaries and over identification tendencies I put my hand over my mouth in empathic reponse, and the teacher mis-interpreted my response and accused me of having talked, too. I told her I hadn’t and she disputed me. In other words, said I was lying. Then, much later, a nice intelligent woman whom I respected indirectly called me a liar and I have never been able to forgive her. An attorney friend had given me his home phone number in connection with our mutual participation in public access. I lost the number and needed to reach him, so I contacted a mutual friend requesting his number, explaining that he’d given it to me but I had lost it, and she refused. That was calling me a liar, too. This was about 20 years ago and I haven’t re-friended her–though I doubt she’s missed me.

How He Experiences His World

Published June 8, 2018 by Nan Mykel

By Elliott DeLine Jan. 11, 2018

Gender Differences in Asperger’s: Being a Trans Guy and a Female-Socialized Aspie

I have never been quite like most people. I was aware of my difference from a very early age. It was as though I viewed the world in an entirely different way from the people around me.

Things that they took seriously seemed inconsequential to me. Things that I took seriously seemed inconsequential to them. I felt perpetually misunderstood. Adults were always telling me I was “gifted” because I knew so much about animals, was a very fast learner, and could write and draw very well for my age. And yet, at the same time, it seemed as though I couldn’t do anything right. I was always tripping over my own feet. I had trouble staying seated in school — literally. My body would slide out of the chair, and I would find myself on the floor. I couldn’t stop daydreaming and looking out the window, no matter how hard I tried.

“Little” things were big deals to me: my apple juice had to be just the right temperature, or I couldn’t drink it. My blanket had to be cool to the touch for me to use it — but not too cool, either. I couldn’t wear certain colors, such as yellow socks, because they were “itchy.” I described many scenarios in everyday life as “uncomfortable.” Shoes were uncomfortable. Going anywhere without a stuffed animal was uncomfortable. My parents were mostly amused by what they seemed to see as finickiness and bossiness. I would state my needs very clearly and not understand that they sounded bizarre to other people….

….I also had a strong sense of justice and became overwhelmed with indignation and confusion when other people behaved cruelly. I remember doing so as early as my toddler years. I didn’t understand other people at all. I didn’t relate to girls, boys, or anyone, except animals.

Many trans people describe knowing that they were trans around age three. At around age three, I told my preschool teacher that I wanted to be a seal when I grew up….

FOR MUCH MORE VISIT SITE …https://thebodyisnotanapology.com/magazine/gender-differences-in-aspergers-being-a-trans-guy-and-a-female-socialized-aspie/#

Horrible Beauty reblog

Published June 6, 2018 by Nan Mykel

So very perceptive! Lovely! I’m reblogging

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When I was out driving yesterday, I was suddenly engulfed in a blizzard.

A pollen blizzard.

The sun lit up the millions of pollen bits and dandelion fluffs floating through the air.

It was the Dance of the Allergens.

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And I just laughed. Because those awful things reap havoc on me… and yet they were so beautiful.

Which makes me think about other things that are terrible and lovely at the same time.

When I was a kid, I lived near a very big factory, and I used to love the puddles in the parking lots after a summer rain. Not only was there a rainbow in the sky. There were rainbows in the puddles. Oh sure, you may call them oil slicks. But they were so pretty. The blues and purples and golds. Those beat-up cars left these portraits just for me.

oil puddle photo by Yair Haklai

Then there’s food…

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The Wings of the Butterfly by Vanessa Rivera de la Fuente

Published June 6, 2018 by Nan Mykel

Excellent in so many different ways…A re-blog

Feminism and Religion

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Shhhhh… good women are quiet.
My mother was a beautiful woman, she never complained.

Denial is a silent violence that aims to make invisible a trauma maybe evident or not, to make it acceptable as normal and allow the victims of this trauma to be exploited from a system of oppression or people in power. Denial is that voice sugarcoated with correctness that asks us to shut up and sit down on our own pain so as to not disturb anyone. Is a silence that yells loudly, because sooner or later it will speak through the different ways we hurt ourselves and others.

It is not a mystery that women all over the world are subjected to a variety of violence and oppression. Women and girls are hijacked, raped, assaulted, murdered, their experiences mocked or banalized and their bodies thrown around like trash. People get outraged asking how this is…

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I’m not proud to be Christian – and no one else should be, either by Trelawney Grenfell-Muir

Published June 6, 2018 by Nan Mykel

I’m reblogging and following. Just excellent…

Feminism and Religion

I hear a lot of people talking lately about how they are no longer proud to be Christian. They point to the vocal conservative churches and leaders who support Trump, condemn and exclude LGBTQ people, oppress female bodies and sexuality, exhibit breathtaking racism, classism, sexism, nationalism, and ecocide… and they struggle to call themselves “Christian” anymore, in light of these shameful behaviors by modern American “Christianity.”

I completely understand. The most visible examples of self-identified Christian organizations and leaders in the US today make me cringe— or pale in horror. How could any ethically responsible moderate or progressive Christian want to be associated with such bigotry, violence, and dysfunction?

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All Together Now…expanded

Published June 6, 2018 by Nan Mykel

Now I lay me down to sleep

I pray the Lord my Trump to keep.

Shower him with earned acclaim

Free him from a past of shame

Fill him with a mother’s pride

Make him warm and snug inside

Help him honor and love his wife

Renewing vows he made for life

Protect him from the NRA

Maybe even help him pray

Gentle his heart to help the poor,

Bringing peace and what’s more

Give him respect for law and order;

Melt with tears the southern border

Help his word be strong and true

Loving those of every hue

Moms and babies need each other

Help him find his inner mother

Let Mr. Mueller be his friend

And let the both of them defend

All the hopes and aspirations

Of a just United Nations

MORE ON NIGHTMARES

Published June 2, 2018 by Nan Mykel

Nightmares and PTSD – PTSD: National Center for PTSD

https://www.ptsd.va.gov/public/problems/nightmares.asp

LYING IS PERNICIOUS

Published June 1, 2018 by Nan Mykel

I wanted to be using that word correctly so I looked it up. Webster’s says pernicious means “highly injurious or destructive: deadly.” The archaic meaning is wicked.

I just realized how very destructive it can be in a democracy when I found myself doubting that unemployment had hit an all-time low in half a century. I thought, “Don’t the people who count the jobs work under the president?”….

We Are Being Tested : Callico Jack

Published May 31, 2018 by Nan Mykel

Excerpted from Callico Jack’s https://thepsyoflifeblog.com/2018/05/31/the-depth-of-trumps-narcissism-as-told-by-the-ruined-lives-and-carnage-left-in-his-wake/

When we are confronted with evil this profoundly vile that would ignore the pain and death of thousands that would separate families by the hundreds and thousands, then we are called upon to take a stand and a side. The Ol’ Pussy Grabber has the excuse of his life time of malignant narcissism, but we do not. We do not have any other mental illness than apathy. But, the evil is here now, and we must take a blood oath to vote in November to stop it. And, we must call Congress folks and demand that something be done for Puerto Rico and maintaining immigrant families. This shit is now and we are being tested.

Nightmares — one possible solution

Published May 30, 2018 by Nan Mykel

Long ago I worked at a mental health center and a therapist there shared a technique for dealing with nightmares that had worked for some of his clients. He reported one instance of a victim of a tractor rolling over him resulting in recurring nightmares of the experience. In another instance a woman had recurring nightmares of learning two of her friends had been shot to death. My friend said that it was possible to change a nightmare while you were dreaming it. The secret was to make the initial change very small and of little significance. I subsequently attempted this procedure with a man who complained of a recurring nightmare. Several sessions later I inquired how his nightmares were and he said he had just done what I suggested and they quit.