Admitting My Envy

Published May 4, 2024 by Nan Mykel

I’ve been reading Who Dies,  by Stephen and Ondrea Levine (for a second or third time), and am reminded “to become wholly born, whole beings, we must stop postponing life….There is much of ourselves we wish not to experience…” So alright, I’ll admit being envious of, a little mad at, and if truth be told, enraged at the bloggers I ran into who have the costly super duper blogs with out-of-sight images.

(IS IT ME OR A.I., BUT IT TAKES A SECOND OR TWO NOW BETWEEN TYPED LETTERS on my computer.  IT’S FIXED NOW– SOMEONE OR SOMETHING MUST HAVE READ ME.)

“There  is so much of ourselves we wish not to experience. So much fear, guilt, anger, confusion and self-pity. So much self-doubt, so many weak excuses.  Is it any wonder, considering the bizare insistence of our conditionin–the conflict of one value system with another in the mind–that we feel so incomplete. One moment the mind is saying, “Take a big piece,” and then the next it says, “I wouldn’t have done that if I were you.” p. 9

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  • Energy: Companies like Shell are expanding offshore oil and gas drilling into deeper and deeper waters, especially in the Gulf of Mexico.  What will it take? 

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In 2022, DeSantis signed a 15-week abortion ban at a big church near Orlando. But when he signed the six-week ban, he did it behind closed doors. That signaled, I think, that he knew it was going pretty far for a state where public opinion polls still suggested most Floridians wanted legal abortion far beyond six weeks.

Critics of the ban channeled their efforts into gathering petition signatures to put an amendment on the ballot that would directly ask Floridians if they wanted to expand abortion access, and bring it back up to about 24 weeks. They had begun that effort after the 15-week ban was enacted, but it really ramped up after the six-week ban was signed. They were successful, and that question will appear on the ballot in November.

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BIRTH RATE DOWN?  I SAY GOOD

There’s too many people in the world without a home, a house or a country.  The more the merrier? I think not. Some say we need more people [whites] to save our “civilization,”  at the same time cutting  learning about it in college [humanities cuts].  The marriage rate is down, too.  Are the abortion ban simply a way to  increase our population, in addition to waging war on women?

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CAN YOU RECITE:

Hickory Dickory Dock? I learned it as Hickory Dickory Dock, the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck one, the mouse ran down. Hickory Dickory dock.

I think I have learned that the original was not taught to children because it is ungrammatical [to me, at least]:

Hickory Dickory Dock the mouse ran up the clock. The clock struck  one and down he run. Hickory Dickory Dock.

Some parent or teacher must have thought to “correct.”

The truth could have been a learning tool but  so much, the truth  is  expendable.  Oh  horrors there I go sounding like an  octogenarian again!

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2 comments on “Admitting My Envy

  • Hi Nan! Your quote from Who Dies summarizes how I’ve been feeling so well. I have urges to challenge myself to grow and accomplish big exciting things. But then I feel I am unnecessarily stressing myself out trying to accomplish everything at once. The urge to live like a hermit kicks in, but isnever satisfying for long. A balance between these two extremes must exist. I’m trying to be proud of small sucesses and remind myself that it’s the little steps that amount to something great.

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