HOW DO I GET OUT OF WHO I AM?

Published July 19, 2017 by Nan Mykel

Nan with therapist; . Dreamers, 1899. John Brown.)

What poor therapist would want to get stuck with an 81 year old woman with degenerative arthritis, in slight cognitive decline trailing a Ph.D. in clinical psychology behind her?  (That’s my inner response to my suggestion I see a therapist).  As messed up as I am, I wouldn’t want to do that to anybody.

I’m lonely but don’t like to be around people, one child has disowned me, another avoids me, and I am responsible for bringing to life a Down Syndrome child.  I have sold two houses impulsively–losing considerable money–am avoiding 5 women who are desperately lonely and I can’t crank myself up to make a contribution to my fellow man/woman.  Not quite agoraphobic, I inch away on my walker, also avoiding my dirty dishes.  On top of that, my heart has turned to stone.  This is my truth; please don’t argue with me.

5 comments on “HOW DO I GET OUT OF WHO I AM?

  • I could write something just like this but with different details. Life is hard. The fact that you admit and allow yourself to acknowledge where you are is honorable. It doesn’t feel good to be where you are. I’m so sorry. The saddest thing for me to read was that your heart has turned to stone. I’m afraid that’s where mine is headed some days. Right now, it’s already pretty cold. You are not a bad person. Just know that.

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