PREFACE — I was 65 when struck by the idea of writing this book. If I fail to write it now, at 68, the book will never happen. I will have lost the chance to say some things which I believe are important from my vantage as former victim, former treater of incarcerated sex offenders, former treater of survivors, and as the product of years of quality psychotherapy and analysis.

I’m going to write as though the reader is female because that seems most natural to me, but much if not all of this book applies equally to males, and to both victims who became law abiding citizens and those who went on to become molesters themselves.

Society seems to either be in denial about the actual damage resulting from sexual abuse or to blow it out of proportion–to portray child sexual abuse as worse than murder, for instance. I endorse neither approach.

It’s a confusing, complex world, and grabbing hold of a stable purchase from which to perceive it is especially difficult for those whose most precious boundaries have been trampled, often by those who think they love us. Perspective is a continuing problem for me, at 68. It will be, forever. We aren’t crazy.  We’re scrambled.

About Nan Mykel

At 79, I was just about to stop keeping a journal, but that felt like accepting that growth was finished. I don't want to be finished, yet! I'm 80 now, and struggling to communicate with you, if you'll come and set awhile. P.S. My how time flies! I'm 82 now.
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6 Responses to INITIAL PREFACE TO “FALLOUT,” 13 years ago

  1. grumpygorman says:

    A topic that hits close to home.


  2. Oliana says:

    Go for it Nan. It can be therapeutic for you and certainly helpful to other survivors as well [well especially] their friends and family. It seems to be difficult some people to “get it” and why it takes time to heal. Healing does not mean forgetting, just that the scars are reminders of the struggles one has survived.


    • Nan Mykel says:

      Thanks! Well, see, I did go for it, and it was published in 2014, but folks don’t like to read unsettling material. And yes, it was therapeutic for me.


      • Oliana says:

        Oh dear! I am truly behind in news. But I am happy you did mention the publication. I just purchased Fallout and Time Wrinkles tonight.

        I remember reading [more like inhaling] all of Torey Hayden’s books when I found one hanging around at work. A colleague asked me why I kept reading ‘stuff like that’…”don’t you feel like you’re doing overtime?” I wish more people did read about this so they realize there are a lot more people than they care admit who have experienced this or know someone very close who has.
        I work on an anonymous [which allows them to finally find a safe place to sometimes disclose for the first time]. A few of my colleagues were saying there were more cases of incest in the past few years and I disagree…people are coming forward more. I look forward to reading your books, Nan. Best, Cheryl-Lynn aka Oliana


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