My dearest new computer mate,
oh yes, I’d like to have a date.
Since they paired us up, you must be
an educated man, and free.
I got your pix–which one is you?
And by the way, what do you do?
“Describe yourself,” you say–Mein gott!
You really put me on the spot!
I’m a genuine human being,
a little nicer than I seem.
I brake for dogs and wreck for cats;
I like long dresses, gloves and hats,
though sometimes lounge around in jeans.
I joined church while in my teens
and let me say that I am well
aware of how to keep from hell.
No holding hands on our first date
and let me tell you very straight
I drink no booze and smoke no pot.
Computer mate, I am no sot!
But if you’re Christian and you’re good
and make up to me like you should,
I think that in a while we might
just make a pair that’s outta sight!
(Previously in Pickin’ Fleas)