According to Shengold, “sexual abuse by a parent is more traumatic than by other individuals, due to the level of betrayal involved. In later relationships it is not unusual for survivors to evidence their ambivalence by vacillating between rage and passivity. Extreme dependence and an inablity to assess the trustworthiness of others are also common. In the absence of healing, prognosis for a good marriage is guarded, due to what Shengold calls a “pseudorelatedness that disguises a deeply seated misrust of others based on experienced reality,” (Shengold, 1989, 315).
I remember the story my father told me about a man who was urging his child to jump in the water, assuring the child that she or he would be caught. Finally, in a leap of faith, the child jumped in and the father stepped aside and did not catch the child. My father said, “The lesson is, don’t ever trust anyone.” (p 176)
From FALLOUT: A Survivor Talks to Incest Offenders (and Others) by moi