
A dragon in mid flight, with motion blur to the wings hovering close to some rocks in an arid landscape with small jagged rock formations. A female knight in armour and leather stands holding a sword backward in one hand and the other hand outstretched towards the dragon.
If you haven’t noticed, I don’t “have it all together.” In fact, at times I have a teeny irritation/jealousy of those who do, and are good enough to share their routine with us. I shudder now because my memory is poor, and somewhere….maybe in many posts I have done that which I am questioning.
I can, however, share what I love and what I fear: I love honesty, and have removed the word transparency from my vocabulary, because I have a suspicion that it doesn’t exist. Do you recall the last time you told a lie…maybe you called it a white lie. I do, and it was about five years ago and it was to keep from being embarrassed. Oh, I told you I have a poor memory, so I can’t really brag.
Number One on my current fear list is nuclear war. I read that a couple of the wealthiest men in the U.S. have well-furnished shelters under their millionaire homes. Notice that they don’t call them “bomb shelters” anymore, and I don’t personally know anyone who has one–although best to keep it a secret, eh? Those two fellows have big investments in AI, I hear. My leaving women out of the equation reflects not my prejudice, but the fact that the media hasn’t bothered to look at their plans.
Why am I most afraid of nuclear war? Two reasons: first, because international tempers are flaring, countries are gambling with the future, there are more countries capable (to the best of my knowledge), and China appears to be on board. Climate Change’s ultimate deadline is 26 years away. (What!? I’ve been thinking 50 years away!) I’m not sure a nuclear holocaust is that far away. One of the more unpleasant visual memories from television is of Hussein of Iraq in his underwear being harassed while saying his country had no weapons of mass destruction, telling the truth but being disbelieved (supposedly). I just refreshed my memory on Wikipedia:
In the early 2000s, U.S. President George W. Bush and UK Prime Minister Tony Blair both asserted that Saddam Hussein’s weapons programs were still actively building weapons and that large stockpiles of WMDs* were hidden in Iraq. Inspections by the UN to resolve the status of unresolved disarmament questions restarted between November 2002 and March 2003,[3] under United Nations Security Council Resolution 1441, which demanded Hussein give “immediate, unconditional and active cooperation” with UN and IAEA inspections.[4] The United States asserted that Hussein’s frequent lack of cooperation was a breach of Resolution 1441, but failed to convince the United Nations Security Council to pass a new resolution authorizing the use of force.[5][6][7] Despite this, Bush asserted peaceful measures could not disarm Iraq of the weapons that he alleged it possessed and he launched a second Gulf War instead. A year later, the United States Senate officially released the Senate Report of Pre-war Intelligence on Iraq which concluded that many of the Bush Administration’s pre-war statements about Iraqi WMD were misleading and not supported by the underlying intelligence. United States–led inspections later found that Iraq had earlier ceased active WMD production and stockpiling; the war was called by many, including 2008 Republican presidential nominee John McCain, a “mistake”,[1] while others[who?] have argued the false allegations of weapons were used as a deliberate pretext for war. (Once in, however, it appears we didn’t really get out until 2011?) Or was it 2022? I said I was no authority. If I remember correctly some referred to it as an oil war.
What that suggests to me is that even if the whole world says it has gotten rid of nuclear warheads, either they won’t be believed or are lying “just in case someone else is lying.” And elsewhere I have read that nuclear weapons would work in outer space. So I’m trying to focus on pleasant things and don’t blame anyone for avoiding this blog. I’m still going to try and write a loving poem. I tried all day yesterday but it hasn’t worked yet.
REFLECTION: Weapons of Mass Destruction? In the early 2000s, U.S. President George W. Bush and UK Prime Minister Tony Blair both asserted that Saddam Hussein’s weapons programs were still actively building weapons and that large stockpiles of WMDs were hidden in Iraq. Inspections by the UN to resolve the status of unresolved disarmament questions restarted between November 2002 and March 2003,[3]…. ” The United States failed to convince the United Nations Security Council to pass a new resolution authorizing the use of force.[5][6][7]” Despite this, Bush asserted peaceful measures could not disarm Iraq of the weapons that he alleged it possessed and he launched war instead. “A year later, the United States Senate officially released the Senate Report of Pre-war Intelligence on Iraq which concluded that many of the Bush Administration’s pre-war statements about Iraqi WMD were misleading and not supported by the underlying intelligence. United States–led inspections later found that Iraq had earlier ceased active WMD production and stockpiling; the war was called by many, including 2008 Republican presidential nominee John McCain, a “mistake”,[1] while others[who?] have argued the false allegations of weapons were used as a deliberate pretext for war”
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In March 2003, U.S. forces invaded Iraq vowing to destroy Iraqi weapons of mass destruction (WMD) and end the dictatorial rule of Saddam Hussein. When WMD intelligence proved illusory and a violent insurgency arose, the war lost public support. Saddam was captured, tried, and hanged. [It was assumed he was lying]. Google Timeline The Iraq War. Unless I’m misreading, the war did not end until 2011, and some have referred to it as “the war for oil.”
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I suggested it in an earlier post but feel like observing it once more: I’ll just question the similarities of two occurrences:
1. The mystery of 9-11, how the U.S. failed to protect itself after an avalanche of info of an upcoming attack.
2. The current mystery, when Israel was given warnings that an invasion was brewing but failed to prepare itself.
Both “oversights” led to the justification of waging war–one by the U.S., the other by Israel. Besides the question of dishonesty (“non-transparency”) is the sickening thought of how many lives were sacrificed in the hypothetical manipulations and excuses to justify war.
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*WMDs=Weapons of Mass Destruction


This relates to a dream, a self reflection, memories, connections of past events, wondering, and a resolution to reflect at the end of each day on any lies I’ve told that day, the motivation for them, how many were due to not wanting to hurt the others’ feelings, alternative things I could have said that were truthful, etc. Perhaps reading Difficult Conversations, a library book I recently checked out, recent readings on consciousness and the booklet I’m writing for my children and grandchildren called “Stepping Stones to Inside,” two longstanding grudges against likeable people who insulted me in the past, wondering how I limit my relations with others (and always have) by an unwillingness to hurt others. No need to review the encyclopedic past, but I am excited about the decision to reflect on my truthtelling at the end of each day, and to see what alternatives I might have utilized, because I am thirsty for honesty and aware of how I may keep myself from the warming experience of a truthful relationship. Right now I feel hungry for the truth from a benign person. Truth from someone whose intention is to hurt me would not be welcome. It’s an experiment in living that I’m seeking. And yes, this is motivated by a dream I had and which my unconscious let me remember. All this may be a little too honest for the reader, so I will resume tomorrow night on my DIARY page.