Corot  1838

IT’S ABOUT LOVE

I don’t usually like folks’ grumpy rants, but here goes one of mine. Although I think of it more like expounding, than fussing. Still, it’s a new format for me.

I move to abolish the word “Love” and also the word “God.”  When folks use “love” in a communication they don’t know what they’re saying, nor do people who use the word “God.”

I think it’s already been validated that most folks don’t really know what they mean when they use the big G word; but how about “love?”

I’ll bet if we really knew it, “love” is more often used as a con than otherwise. And remember, when love deceives, the urge is often to try and hurt back. I think we’ve learned that parents who love their children too much are projecting themselves onto the child in a manner that inhibits the child’s own development. (See Normal Neurosis for more about this).

I guess almost all of us sign off from a phone converstion with family with “I love you,” although the content of the conversation may have been fraught with hostility.

So if we toss out the word “love” what do we use instead? Whatever’s really meant.  Desire; enjoy; like; am comfortable with; am dedicated to; am loyal to; am attracted to; feel close to sexually or emotionally; respect; value; etc. I’ve run out of words (temporarily). I suspect that when we use that word we are fooling ourselves as much as the “be-loved.”

It was with surprise that I learned during therapy that if an excessive amount of energy is put into a word or statement, it turns out the opposite is also true, that the extra energy reflects an underlying conflict. Kinda complicated, so you can ignore this.

Now, “I believe in God” has no content value at all, except that the speaker does not consider themselves an atheist or agnostic.  In general, it probably means that “I have a need to make sense out of life and to believe that it has meaning.” Or, “I am fulfilling a need to feel especially ‘loved’ and taken care of.”  (I understand the Hottentot’s God was a preying mantis, a fun statement that’s not really relevant here.)

Excuse me for using this space for a rant that’s not crucial.  I just felt an urge to “run off at the fingers.”